- Lorna Morello: How do you know it's the same person?
- Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: Heft, density, hue. It's as personal as a signature if you think about it. You know, that reminds me, there was this guy in my high school who knew how to sign his name in...
- Lorna Morello: No, no, no, no, no. Please, Suzanne. It is too early for that.
- Lorna Morello: I don't think the pooper's gonna poop at peak times.
- Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: Well, unless they're an exhibitionist pooper... a "poop-scibitionist."
- Reema Pell: Inflation. Like we back in the Bush era.
- Cindy Hayes: Bitch, you never left the Bush era, judging by all that creeping from your panties.
- Marisol 'Flaca' Gonzales: Flaca and Maritza, together again.
- Maritza Ramos: It's like we're back in the kitchen, but crime-ier.
- Maritza Ramos: Can you believe this whole maxi pad thing? I got a wad of toilet paper so far up my hoohoo, I'm not sure it's ever gonna come out. And it's giving me a not-so-fresh feeling.
- Angie Rice: One time I ran outta tampons, so I used one of those, um, dinosaur just-add-water sponges for kids. It was really fun. 'Cause it was like, ooh... I wonder what this will be? Oooh! Brontosaurus Rex!
- Leanne Taylor: [laughing] Surprise!
- Maritza Ramos: You know what gets me so hot? Is when guys compare me to breakfast, and when they talk about me like I'm not even here. how 'bout you call me "that oatmeal in the front seat," and I'll be so yours?
- Linda Ferguson: They couldn't find anybody else to give the keynote this year? Gandhi, maybe?
- Kip Carnigan: Oh, I heard they approached him, but his corpse is booked solid.
- CO Lee Dixon: Offer Dixon answers to Officer Dixon.
- CO Artesian McCullough: Don't we answer to Piscatella?
- Brook Soso: I love it here. It's like, where we met, when you think about it.
- Poussey Washington: Yeah, it was pretty romantic when you were drooling and dead and shit.