Mom (TV Series)

Mozzarella Sticks and a Gay Piano Bar (2015)

Allison Janney: Bonnie Plunkett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Bonnie : You know, there's a lot of money in getting people sober. We should start our own rehab.

  Christy : We could call it Plunkett House.

  Bonnie : 'If you drunk it, come to Plunkett'. I like it!

  Christy : I'm going to write this down because I know we'll forget.

• Bonnie : Hi.

  Michelle : You're a big one.

  Christy : Hi.

  Michelle : [turns and looks at her]  You're a teeny weeny one.

  Bonnie : Can we join you?

  Michelle : Sure, we'll be Small, Medium and Large... I'm the medium.

• Bonnie : [about Jodi's frame of mind]  What do you think, meth brain or teenage brain?

  Christy : What's the difference?

• Jodi : [waking up]  What time is it?

  Christy : 4 o' clock.

  Bonnie : In the year 2038.

  Christy : [speaking and moving mechanically]  We-are-robots.

• Christy : I think it's time you got out there and got a job, you'll really start to feel good about yourself when you make your own money.

  Jodi : You know, Christy, if you need help with the groceries and the rent and stuff, I can just ask my sister to help.

  Bonnie : The sister who hasn't spoken to you for 2 years for stealing from her? Oh yeah that's a good idea.

• Jodi : After 2 weeks of writing people's names on Styrofoam cups, I finally got my first paycheck!

  Christy : Jodi that's amazing! You know what you're going to do with that money now?

  Jodi : Yeah, purple hair extensions!

  Christy : No. You're going to take $100 of that money and send it to your sister.

  Jodi : No!

  Bonnie : Yes, you're going to send her $100 every week until you pay back what you stole from her.

  Jodi : That's not fair, I earned this!

  Bonnie : Yeah and your sister earned what you stole from her.

• Christy : [giving Jodi advice on living with her sister]  All you have to do is stay sober. Help her around the house.

  Bonnie : Maybe do the dishes.

  Christy : Don't take food off her plate.

  Bonnie : Or money out of her purse.

• Christy : So we drove her back to her home.

  Bonnie : Very, very, nice home.

  Christy : And we tried to explain the situation to her husband.

  Bonnie : Very, very, fine husband.

  Christy : Who verified that she is not an alcoholic. But he *did* accuse her of having an affair with her boss, which explains why she was so upset when she got passed over for her promotion.

  Bonnie : Yeah, she put in the *work*.

  Christy : So, long story short, now he's divorcing her, and she took out a restraining order against us.

  Bonnie : Yeah. I've got a lot of restraining orders against me, but this one really stings.

• Bonnie : [saying goodbye to Jodi]  I'm crying in your fake purple hair. Let's get this over with.

• Marjorie : [about Michelle]  How do you know she's an alcoholic?

  Bonnie : Please, who would risk a song like that in front of a bunch of strangers? Queen in the afternoon? That's alcoholic.

• Christy : Remember how excited you were at the first legal money you made?

  Bonnie : Yeah, it was when I sold my eggs.

• Jodi : I'm not qualified to do anything except sell my blood.

  Bonnie : You can't do that, there's no money in it, selling your eggs is where the real money is.

  Jodi : How would I go about doing that?

  Christy : You don't!

  [to Bonnie] 

  Christy : What are you talking about?

  Bonnie : You may have a few half brothers and sisters out there, we'll talk later.

• Christy : So when did you start selling your eggs?

  Bonnie : The day they started paying for them. Just a tip, don't have sex with any guys who look like me.