- Jeremy Clarkson - Presenter: [Jeremy Clarkson's car overheats and gets stuck in a river bank in North Yorkshire] I hate working on Top Gear!
- Jeremy Clarkson - Presenter: [Jeremy Clarkson crashes into a tree] I've gone in a tree! A tree is happening!
- Jeremy Clarkson - Presenter: [Jeremy Clarkson's car and trailer jack-knife] It's hopeless! I've crashed into myself!
- Richard Hammond - Presenter: [stops his car at the destination] Ladies and gentlemen, your speaker for this evening will not be Richard Hammond because he won the race.
- [gets out of the car, and promptly gets back in]
- Richard Hammond - Presenter: Wrong place.
- James May - Presenter: [James May discusses SUV's] What they are selling you is a lifestyle. You buy one of these, pretty soon you'll be doing windsurfing, hot-air ballooning, paintballing, nudism... lots of other rugged, healthy, outdoors-y stuff.
- Richard Hammond - Presenter: [Richard Hammond discusses the plan] They said we were going to spend a few days living the classic car experience: English country lanes, warm brown beer, and lots of fellow enthusiasts to talk to. Basically, Jeremy's idea of hell.
- Richard Hammond - Presenter: [Richard Hammond giving the after-dinner speech to the North Yorkshire Carbon Management & Sustainability Trust] Um, I'm actually wearing quite a lot of the environment this evening.
- [gestures to his muddy clothes]
- James May - Presenter: [James May recovers from his second stall of the day] The Peugeot is getting better. It's responding to sympathetic treatment. That's the thing you have to remember about old machinery: you have to form a bond with it.
- [engine sputters]
- James May - Presenter: Oh, Bollocks! Don't stop!
- [engine stops]
- James May - Presenter: [looking out a window and speaking to Clarkson & Hammond, while rolling down the street with an already broken Peugeot] Bonjour mes amis.