Master of None (TV Series)

The Other Man (2015)

Aziz Ansari: Dev

Photos 

Quotes 

• Colin : I'll run you through the elevator pitch for the movie. So, what is the one thing everyone has?

  Dev : I don't know.

  Colin : A car. So I do a movie where I am a car.

  Dev : So... it's like Knight Rider and you're doing the voice?

  Colin : Nope! I *am* the car! Batman has a Batmobile, Thor has a Thormobile...

  Dev : Uh, I don't think he does.

• Dev : Man, why'd you drag me to a work party?

  Denise : 'Cause you're my buddy. You're my friend. I want you to meet my coworkers.

  Dev : Oh, that's nice.

  Denise : Yeah, plus there's this girl here I'm trying to get with and if I showed up by myself, that'd seem kind of lame.

  Dev : Uh-huh, I get that.

  Denise : And I asked a bunch of other people to come, they said no.

  Dev : Great, thanks.

• Nina : Hey, Vineet, it's Nina. So good to see you.

  Dev : No, wrong Indian guy. I'm not Vineet.

  Nina : No, I know, I'm trying to get rid of this weirdo over there. Just pretend you're talking to me for a little bit.

  Dev : Oh, okay. Um, do I need to get in character as Vineet, or can I be myself?

  Nina : No, you can You can be yourself.

  Dev : What if I want to be a different Indian guy named Darwish who sells tractors?

  Nina : Okay, Darwish. How's the tractor business?

  Dev : [sighs]  Not good. So far, I've sold, mm, zero tractors.

  Nina : Oh, no.

  Dev : Yeah. Apparently there's no farmland in Manhattan.

• [first lines] 

  Colin : The infected! They're closing in!

  [laughs] 

  Colin : Just kidding. You're safe at craft services. Colin Salmon.

  [extends his hand] 

  Dev : Hi. Dev. I'm a huge fan.

  Colin : Oh, good to see you're charging up for the scene. Watch the dairy, though. It's not good for the voice.

  Dev : Uh-oh. Well, this is my second one. I'm excited for the scene today.

  Colin : As am I. But, of course, today is also the anniversary of the disappearance of my cat, Shakespeare, so there's a bit of a dark cloud above us today.

  Dev : Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. What happened?

  Colin : Took him to the Swiss premiere of Alien vs. Predator. We were enjoying a picnic by Lake Geneva when an owl came, snatched Shakespeare with his talons. They flew off. We never saw each other again. The memory of that gruesome silhouette against an Alpine sunset... is something I will never forget.

  Dev : All right, well um, it was great to meet you. Um, I'm gonna eat this cinnamon raisin bagel. I'll see you out there.

  Colin : [Colin still striking his melancholy pose]  Bye...

• Colin : Dev, I'm inspired by you, and I am feeding off your energy. And I think I've come up with a title for the film: CarPerson. No, wait. Wait... CarHuman.

  Dev : Why not just CarMan? "Colin Salmon is CarMan."

  Colin : [stands up]  Dev, you've done it again! It's brilliant. And we should celebrate with a Cinnabon, and I won't take no for an answer.

  Dev : Okay, I'll have one.

  Colin : Great! We just have to wait for the glaze to thaw.

  [slowly sitting back down] 

  Colin : Takes a few hours. Should be ready by nightfall.

• [last lines] 

  Mark : A marriage is a beautiful thing that you make together. And it has many parts, one of which is monogamy. But the way we look at it, you don't just blow up the whole thing 'cause one part is broken. You try to fix that part. Like, if I had messed up one of the legs on the table I made for Nina, I wouldn't throw out the whole table. I'd fix the leg. Right, honey?

  Nina : Yeah. Look, it's not perfect. But it's real. It's life.

  Mark : Very real.

  Nina : Yeah.

  Dev : Wow, well, I'm glad this didn't end with you murdering me like in those Richard Gere movies.

  Nina : He's not gonna beat you to death with a snow globe and then wrap your body up in a rug and dump you in a landfill.

  Mark : Unfaithful, Unfaithful.

  Nina : Yeah!

  Dev : It's a great movie.

  Mark : Oh, Gere at his best.

  Denise : Good movie.

  Mark : Oh, and hey, I'm sorry I cut in line at the ice cream place. I was coked out of my mind. But I'm sober now.

  Dev : That's great.

  Nina : Good.

  Dev : Well, um, all right. All right.

  Nina : Anyway bye...

  Denise : Nice meeting y'all. I'll see you at work.

  Denise : [to Dev]  What just happened?