Doctor Who (TV Series)

The Zygon Inversion (2015)

Peter Capaldi: The Doctor

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Quotes 

• Bonnie : You don't understand. You will never understand.

  The Doctor : I don't understand? Are you kidding? Me? Of course I understand. I mean, do you call this a war? This funny little thing? This is not a war! I fought in a bigger war than you will ever know. I did worse things than you could ever imagine. And when I close my eyes I hear more screams than anyone could ever be able to count! And do you know what you do with all that pain? Shall I tell you where you put it? You hold it tight till it burns your hand, and you say this: No one else will ever have to live like this. No one else will have to feel this pain. Not on my watch!

• The Doctor : Because it's always the same. When you fire the first shot, no matter how right you feel, you have no idea who's going to die. You don't know whose children are going to scream and burn. How many hearts will be broken. How many lives shattered! How much blood will spill... before everybody does what they were ALWAYS going to have to do from the very beginning! SIT. DOWN. AND. TALK.

• The Doctor : You just want cruelty to beget cruelty. You're not superior to people who were cruel to you. You're just a whole bunch of new cruel people. A whole bunch of new cruel people, being cruel to some other people, who'll end up being cruel to you. The only way anyone can live in peace is if they're prepared to forgive. Why don't you break the cycle?

• The Doctor : Do you know what thinking is? It's just a fancy word for changing your mind.

  Bonnie : I will not change my mind.

  The Doctor : Then you will die stupid.

• Clara : So, you must have thought I was dead for a while?

  The Doctor : Yeah.

  Clara : How was that?

  The Doctor : Longest month of my life.

  Clara : It could only have been five minutes.

  The Doctor : [the Doctor pauses and looks up at Clara]  I'll be the judge of time.

• The Doctor : You know I'm over two thousand years old? I'm old enough to be your Messiah.

• The Doctor : So, let me ask you a question about this brave new world of yours. When you've killed all the bad guys; and when it's all perfect and just and fair; and when you have finally got it exactly the way you want it, what are you going to do with the people like you?

• The Doctor : London! What a dump.

  Osgood : London's okay.

  The Doctor : Not it's not. It's a dump.

  Osgood : You spend an awful lot of time here, considering it's a dump.

  The Doctor : I spend an awful lot of time being kidnapped, tortured, shot at, exterminated - doesn't mean I like it.

• Osgood : Why do you have a Union Jack parachute?

  The Doctor : Um, camouflage.

  Osgood : Camouflage?

  The Doctor : Yes, we're in Britain.

• The Doctor : Why does peacekeeping always involve killing?

• Osgood : The Tardis.

  The Doctor : The Tardis.

  Osgood : What does it stand for?

  The Doctor : What? You're kidding me? Surely you know that?

  Osgood : Well, I've heard a couple of different versions.

  The Doctor : I made it up from the initials. It stands for Totally And Radically Driving In Space.

• The Doctor : What's your plan, Zygella?

  Bonnie : I don't have a plan.

  The Doctor : Come on, you don't invade planets without having a plan, that's why they're called planets; to remind you to plan-it. He-hey, that's good! Puntastic! Doctor Puntastic.

• The Doctor : There was another box. I was going to press another button. I was going to wipe out all of my own kind - man, woman, and child. I was so sure I was right.

  Bonnie : What happened?

  The Doctor : Same thing that happened to you. I let Clara Oswald get inside my head. Trust me, she doesn't leave.

• The Doctor : Doctor John Disco. It was my plane. I had a big plane for purposes of er, poncing about.

• The Doctor : What's your name?

  Osgood : Osgood.

  The Doctor : No, no, no, your first name.

  Osgood : What's your first name?

  The Doctor : Basil.

  Osgood : Petronella.

  The Doctor : Let's just, uh, stick with what we had.

• Osgood : The first thing I'd do if I was to invade the world would be to kill you.

  The Doctor : Thanks.

  Osgood : I wouldn't even let you get talking, like you always do. Bullet between the eyes, first thing.

  The Doctor : Again, thank you.

  Osgood : Twelve times if necessary.

  The Doctor : Ah, yes, well why limit yourself? You've really thought this through, haven't you?

  Osgood : I'm a big fan.

• Osgood : Why didn't that Zygon blow us up with her big bazooka?

  The Doctor : She did blow us up with her big bazooka. This is us being blown up with a big bazooka.

• The Doctor : Hello! Hi, hello.

  [holding psychic paper] 

  The Doctor : Uh, Doctor John Disco.

• [first lines] 

  The Doctor : Clara! Clara!

  Bonnie : You're breaking up!

  The Doctor : The invasion has happened; you're probably surrounded by Zygons. Get to the Tardis. Get yourself safe. Apparently my plane is never going to land. Let's see what we can do about that!

  Bonnie : I'm sorry. But Clara's dead.