- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Okay, look, if we get this done quick enough, we might have time to stop for churros.
- [pauses and looks at Pablo]
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: That's not a racist thing, Pablo. That's just a great dessert.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: [Stares for a second] You know I am not Mexican, right?
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: [Smiles at him] That's the spirit!
- Lionel Hawkins: The book itself is harmless unless wielded by someone either very evil or very stupid.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Lionel, you find a wimpy demon yet?
- Lionel Hawkins: Nothing that says wimpy, specifically, but I have found a minor demon named Eligos. Possesses knowledge of hidden things, a demon of the mindscape.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Oh, perfect. Sounds like a total nerd.
- Lionel Hawkins: It says he preys on the spiritually and emotionally weak.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Well, he can do that on his own time.
- Amanda Fisher: Detective Fisher. State police.
- [Pablo whacks Amanda in the back of the head with an enormous bone]
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: Did she say she was a cop? Oh shit! I just knocked out a cop! It was self-defense.
- Kelly's Dad: All your time spent searching for the book, you haven't learned a thing!
- Ruby Knowby: I've learned you can always make things more painful.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: At heart, me, I'm an alone wolf.
- Kelly Maxwell: A lone wolf.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Exactly.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: Yo, that woman just took a gun outta her car.
- Kelly Maxwell: Is there any world where this doesn't have something to do with Ash?
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Okay so, Lionel, you're gonna be cool about this, right? You wouldn't wanna wanna jeopardize your life's work just 'cause there's a unconscious cop in your store, right? I mean, you get that.
- Lionel Hawkins: I do.
- Kelly Maxwell: You do?
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Kelly, come on, he's cool. Let's not poke at it.
- Lionel Hawkins: Do you even know what you possess here?
- [Ash scoffs]
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Well, of course. I mean, obviously I do but, uh, you might wanna share it with Pablo.
- Lionel Hawkins: This book is a gateway to Hell, a way to summon forces of evil into our earthly realm.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Yep, that's exactly what I thought. Please continue.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: Reading from the book is what caused all of this trouble to begin with, so...
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Yeah, that's true. But reading from it again can't make things any worse. It's kinda like spilling paint on a painting. It's okay 'cause there was already paint on it.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: That is incorrect.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: I'm happy that we're sending evil back where it came from, that's for sure, but it makes me a little sad that we're already breaking up the team.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: Hey, I was toying with a nickname for us. "The Ghostbeaters!"
- Kelly Maxwell: That is so fucking bad.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Yeah, buddy, I gotta tell ya, that's prob'ly the worst thing I've ever heard.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Pablo, you, me and Professor Know-It-All, we're gonna rid the earth of evil. Kelly, can you stay here, watch our friend, in case she wakes up?
- Kelly Maxwell: Oh sure. I'll just sit here with the police officer we tied up and rethink my recent life choices.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: I wish we could just summon an answer.
- [Ash laughs]
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Wait a minute, Pablo. You smooth, brown Einstein, that's it! We summon something from the book that can tell us how to undo all this.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: Uh yeah, no, that's not what I was saying...
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Lionel, find me the weakest demon in that book!
- Amanda Fisher: You don't wanna be on the wrong side of this thing.
- Kelly Maxwell: Whatever's going down here, I am already on the wrong side of it, so no turnin' back now.
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: Okay, look, if we get this done quick enough, we might have time to stop for churros.
- [pauses and looks at Pablo]
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: That's not a racist thing, Pablo. That's just a great dessert.
- Pablo Simon Bolivar: [Stares at Ash for a second] You know I am not Mexican, right?
- Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams: [Smiles at Pablo] That's the spirit!