- Titus Andromedon: Kimbecile, what do I always say?
- Kimmy Schmidt: Don't touch my dolls, they're strictly look-upons.
- Titus Andromedon: Not that.
- Kimmy Schmidt: Only Aladdin can pull off harem pants?
- Titus Andromedon: Nor that.
- Kimmy Schmidt: John Cusack got fat but I still would?
- Titus Andromedon: No, get the digits! The digits! Oh, look at us, both having man problems.
- Kimmy Schmidt: Is that why you've been shouting so much in the bathroom?
- Titus Andromedon: No, that's because of cheese.
- Deirdre Robespierre: I haven't felt this alive since I left the states department. You know I faked the Saddam capture. He's still out there.
- Deirdre Robespierre: Sweetie thank god you didn't kill yourself because I would have. And I know exactly how and when.