Ash vs Evil Dead (TV Series)

Bait (2015)

Bruce Campbell: Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kelly's Father : I'm actually a hunter and I've never seen a deer explode.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Well, maybe you're not hunting the right deer.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : [Kelly's mother turns into a Deadite]  Oh, good. I was startin' to feel like a real dick.

• Pablo Simon Bolivar : Look, Ash, I think you're really being paranoid about this. If Kelly's mom is one of "them", why wouldn't she have killed her before we got here?

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Because she's tryin' to reel in the bigger fish. Don't you get it? If you snag a little fish, you're not gonna eat it. No, you use it as a bait fish, to catch the whale. I'm the whale, Pablo.

  Pablo Simon Bolivar : Yeah, I got that.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : And Kelly...

  Pablo Simon Bolivar : She's the bait.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Yeah, that's right. Unfortunately for Mom, this whale swam in there with a big ol' shotgun. She was waiting for me to drop my guard. That's why she's inviting us to dinner.

  Pablo Simon Bolivar : Well, for the record, I think she's a real mom, this is my chance to impress Kelly's parents. So, can you just do me a solid, please? And just, be polite in there.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Oh, I'll be polite. Right up until I'm rude.

• Kelly Maxwell : [after Ash puts a pair of crosses on her parents' graves]  You know they were Jewish, right?

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : I did not. I wish you had told me that before I made those dumb crosses.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Pablo, focus up. Just stay behind me, let the boomstick do the talking. Things get hairy, you use your bottle.

  Pablo Simon Bolivar : Um, I don't think it's a very good weapon, Jefe. You had to stab Roper, like, fifty times.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Hey, I was sharpening it for you.

• Pablo : That was the scariest thing that's ever happened to me, I thought I was dead. But then it was so cool when you said, "Thanks for the heads up." At first I was like, "Did he mean it like that?" And then I realized, "He's the Jefe, of course he did."

  Ash : This ain't my first rodeo, kid.

• Kelly Maxwell : Mom, Dad, this is my friend Pablo. He got me the job at Value Stop. And this is Ash, a person I never thought would be in my home.

  Ash : Hi. You used to be dead, right?

• [Ash bursts through the door brandishing a gun and chainsaw] 

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : You left dinner before daddy excused you.

• Suzy Maxwell : Now the three of you will perish together. Evil will walk the Earth!

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Yeah, well, your cooking was shit.

• [Ash and Pablo ride down the road, both soaked in blood] 

  Pablo Simon Bolivar : Is this what it's like to be you?

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Yep, pretty much. Never killed my boss before, so that was new.

• Suzy Maxwell : Why are you covered in blood?

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Um, we hit a deer on the way up here. And when I tried to pull it out of the grill of my car, the sucker just exploded all over us, so we had to cut it up with my chainsaw, arm.

• Suzy Maxwell : You know you could, uh, take off your gun, put it over there with your chainsaw-limb.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : You'd like that, wouldn't you?

  Suzy Maxwell : Uh, yeah. I would rather not to have a gun at dinner.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Well, we can agree to disagree.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : So look, uh, I'm not a grief counselor, but if it's any consolation, I have had to kill and bury loved ones before. A bunch of times, actually.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : I've gotta duct-tape some big-ass bullet holes before I roll.

• Pablo Simon Bolivar : Oh man, something seems very wrong here.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : It always does.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Okay, here's the plan: We bust in there, we fight through the carnage, we bail with the book.

  Pablo Simon Bolivar : Okay, yeah. Oh God, what if Kelly's mom gave Kelly the evil force and then you have to cut off Kelly's head...

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Pablo! Focus up.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : When it comes to evil, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

• Pablo Simon Bolivar : If Kelly's mom is one of them, why wouldn't she have killed her *before* we got here?

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Because she's trying to reel in the bigger fish, don't you get it? If you snag a little fish, you're not gonna eat it, no. You use it as a bait fish to catch the whale.

  [awkward pause] 

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : I'm the whale, Pablo.

  Pablo Simon Bolivar : Yeah, I got that.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : You don't believe mom's horseshit story, do ya? She's a deadite! And I think dad is too.

  Pablo Simon Bolivar : Her mom, she doesn't even have the crazy white eyes. I noticed they're brown and lovely like her daughter's.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Yeah, I remember when I was like you. Young, dumb, full of... conflicting emotions.

• Pablo Simon Bolivar : Ash, I'm not sorry that I took your book to get you to come up here.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : I'm not either. Sometimes a whale needs his bait fish to remind him of where he is in the ocean... Or something like that. Anyway, thanks, buddy.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : You're kinda like a young me. Deadites ruined your life and you're hot as hell.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : That my friends is how we do it.

• Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Look, I get that you wanna save your dad, but I'm trying to save all the dads everywhere. And the mommies and the babies.

• Suzy Maxwell : Why are you covered in blood?

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Um, we hit a deer on the way up here. And when I tried to pull it out of the grill of my car, the sucker just exploded all over us, so we had to cut it up with my chainsaw, arm.

  Kelly's Father : I'm actually a hunter and I've never seen a deer explode.

  Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams : Well, maybe you're not hunting the right deer.