(1978)

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6/10
Put on the pink light
Davian_X10 January 2024
Rik Taziner switch-hits again in HOUSE OF SIR, this time adapting TEENAGE MADAM for the lavender set (or is it the other way 'round?). What's most fascinating about these gay/straight pairs is how closely they hew to each other; the films often use the exact same script, down to details as small as character names.

Told in the same style as MADAM, SIR is also presented with a first-person wraparound, with Dr. Gonad (there as here) touring a whorehouse to survey the workers about their sexual experience. Whereas in MADAM the matron was Madam Rose (Desiree West), here it's just "Sir" (Jack Wright), again introduced via a random Mae West impersonation. Kicking things off with Sir explaining his introduction to the biz - he was bequeathed his uncle's mysterious "business," only to discover it was a house of ill repute on meeting his first customer - the scene follows things to a T with regard to the other film, aside from the fact that there we got Desiree West and John Holmes, while here we get... Jack Wright and some guy.

As in MADAM, the structuring conceit quickly falls apart. A young boy is introduced as having run away from his stepfather, whose sexual abuse is shown in flashback. Typical of the '70s, the guy is presented as "about 14" - though the actor's obviously legal - a bit of age-play fantasy that will surely alarm modern viewers. The young man ends up inducted into the profession by a more experienced hustler, and their first trick is a doozy: Bill "Head" Clover, reprising his role as a macho truck driver who likes to dress up in lingerie and get whipped and degraded. In one of its few digressions from its cousin, SIR moves Clover's impressive feat of oral self-gratification - effectively the eye-popping climax of MADAM - into flashback here (which appears to be the same footage, repurposed and optically flipped - you try doing what he does twice!). Amazingly, Rik even manages to slot his most engaging and attractive performer into the character of Rusty, played here in the male version by an angelic, curly-haired brunet. He gets it on with his regular customer, who subsequently proposes marriage (or what passed for it for gay men in the '70s). As everyone decides to celebrate, the film devolves into a 30-minute closing orgy.

With the entire movie running a good 10-15 minutes longer than its straight counterpart, this is another of SIR's missteps - unusually fleet and well-paced to this point, the film threatens to wear out its welcome in this extended closer. Taziner still acquits himself fairly capably, keeping things moving via the performers' passion and a couple great soft-rock tunes, but this scene just goes on forever, and is missing a moment of closing spectacle like Clover's self-suck in MADAM. The only thing SIR has to offer is a gross shot featuring a guy ejaculating endlessly over the gaping anus of a partner who clearly failed to prepare adequately for his scene (if you catch my drift).

Still, despite these missteps, SIR, along with its straight cousin, is proof Taziner was capable of delivering fitfully entertaining - if silly - porn when he set his mind to it. It's no great shakes, but it moves fairly quickly and just might keep you entertained. As the film closes, Dr. Gonad says he'll be back - and for once in Rik's ramshackle career, I can't say as I blame him.
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