Scream Queens (TV Series)

Mommie Dearest (2015)

Skyler Samuels: Grace Gardner

Quotes 

• Dean Cathy Munsch : My mother used to say that smugness gives you wrinkles.

  Grace Gardner : Oh, was I being smug? Sorry, I thought I was just being right.

• Grace Gardner : You told me if I helped you get out of that asylum, you'd tell me what happened to the baby in the bathtub.

  Dean Cathy Munsch : Did I? Really? Wow! I have no memory of that. I mean, look, I was probably high on klonopin at the time, so you can't really hold me to anything I might have said.

• Grace Gardner : Dear, strange, odd, candle-loving Jennifer needs to be the final victim! The madness needs to end!

• Grace Gardner : Dad, you can't marry Gigi.

  Wes Gardner : Honey, who said anything about marriage? She was so excited about the engagement. I didn't want to bum her out, so I figured if I played along with it... you know, it would lead to some mind-blowing sex, which I was totally right about!

  Grace Gardner : Dad! Oh my god, please stop! Just believe me when I tell you that Gigi is crazy!

• Grace Gardner : So our house never burned down?

  Wes Gardner : No, that was true. I burned it down to cover up any evidence you might find. Gracie, don't you see now, how important you are to me? I committed arson! For you. To protect you. And don't you see now, huh, why I didn't want you to join that sorority? You are the best of both me and your mom and that place was the worst of her.

• Grace Gardner : You can't protect me from who I really am. I am my mother's daughter, Dad.

  Wes Gardner : What does that mean?

  Grace Gardner : It means I would stay far away from me if you want to protect yourself.

• Chanel Oberlin : Your mother changed her name from Bethany Stevens to Mary Mulligan in a feeble attempt to put the sins of her youth behind her. But I guess popping you out drove her off the deep end, because that's where her criminal record gets really interesting. She was arrested for shoplifting, petty larceny, grand larceny, drunk driving with a baby in her lap, drunk driving with a baby on top of her car, and possession of methamphetamine with intention to distribute. Obviously appalled, your douchebag father sued for custody and won. Your saint of a mother died a year later. She was driving drunk, obviously, and decided to wrap her car around a tree.

  Grace Gardner : That's a lie. My dad said that she died in a fire.

  Chanel Oberlin : Fiery car crash. He probably wanted to spare you the pain of finding out who your skank mom really was.