Scream Queens (TV Series)

Hell Week (2015)

Abigail Breslin: Chanel #5

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chanel Oberlin : I am a future network news anchor. That involves a little thing called the media which is like chock full of gays. If I presided over the first sorority ever to accept a gay, imagine how far that would get me with my future gay makeup person, my gay wardrobe person, not to mention my creepy, gross gay viewers and weird gay higher-ups!

  Chanel #5 : No, no! No way! This isn't happening! Chanel, you're not thinking clearly, okay? Accepting a gay will hurt the house and he's gonna steal all of our expensive makeup and toiletries!

• Hester Ulrich : Can I call you Mom?

  Chanel Oberlin : What?

  Hester Ulrich : Please? I feel so loved and protected by all of you.

  Chanel Oberlin : Wait, you wanna call all of us Mom? That's insane!

  Chanel #5 : And super confusing.

  Chanel #3 : Actually, it's a new pop-culture term where young women desperately in need of role models call other girls they look up to Mom. Lorde's fans call her Mom.

• Chanel Oberlin : [got to get rid of the dead body]  Ideas. Go!

  Chanel #5 : We buy a pig and feed it the body. Pigs will eat anything.

  Chanel Oberlin : Oh, yeah, #5, let's just *mosey* on down to the hog district and bring home a 400-pound *sow.* That's not conspicuous *at all.*

  Chanel #3 : My uncle owns a dairy farm in Wisconsin. They have these poop lagoons. They're like ten feet deep, and in winter, they freeze over. And my uncle told me and my sister "Don't go skating on those poop lagoons, because if you fall in, you'll drown in the poop, and come springtime, there'll be... nothing left of your body."

  Chanel Oberlin : Do you and your sister have some form of intellectual disability? Because if *I* encounter a lake of frozen poo, literally the last question I would ask is, "Can we ice-skate on this?"