Scream Queens (TV Series)

Pilot (2015)

Jan Hoag: Ms. Agatha Bean

Quotes 

• Chanel Oberlin : Oh, hi, Miss Bean. What are you doing?

  Ms. Agatha Bean : You told me to scrub all the floors in the house with a Barbie toothbrush.

• Chanel Oberlin : Since we can't turn the castoff pledges away, we're gonna have to scare them off. That's why I'm gonna burn your face off.

  Ms. Agatha Bean : What?

  Chanel Oberlin : Not for real, silly. It'll be pretend. So here's the skinny: We're gonna get in a fight and I'm gonna dunk your head in the deep-fryer.

  Ms. Agatha Bean : What? No!

  Chanel Oberlin : The oil won't be hot. We'll turn off the machine, idiot. You'll just pretend, then come up all screaming and I guarantee all those newbies will run screaming into the night and go pledge some other sorority.

• Chanel Oberlin : I was just in your room where I noticed you have a sizable shrine with evil burning candles, photos of me with my face scratched out, and pairs of my stolen panties. Care to explain, chubby old Nazi?

  Ms. Agatha Bean : Chanel, I don't know what you're talkin' about.

  Chanel Oberlin : Now I know why all your food tastes like it's got a little bit of pee in it!

• Chanel Oberlin : Excuse me, White Mammy?

  Ms. Agatha Bean : You're not allowed to call me that.

  Chanel Oberlin : Sorry. I have a question and it's just a hypothetical. If I asked you if you knew somethin' about birthin' babies or if you didn't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies, what would you say?

  Ms. Agatha Bean : I'd say I don't know.

  Chanel Oberlin : Don't know?

  Ms. Agatha Bean : I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies.

  Chanel Oberlin : Amazing! Thank you.