Gotham (TV Series)

Rise of the Villains: Knock, Knock (2015)

Sean Pertwee: Alfred Pennyworth

Quotes 

• [Alfred Pennyworth agrees to help train Bruce Wayne] 

  Alfred Pennyworth : If I agree to help you, to make you ready, you must do exactly as I say and when I say it with no exceptions, is that understood?

  Bruce Wayne : Understood. But, in return, you must fix that computer.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Fix it? How on earth am I gonna do that?

  Bruce Wayne : That's not my problem. I'm not the one who broke it.

• [Alfred Pennyworth confronts Lucius Fox at a bar] 

  Alfred Pennyworth : You know... I once knew this geezer called Onslow on the island of Dogs in east end of London. Lairy little scalleywag, he was. He was, uh, too smart by half; never trusted him. Anyway, one day, Lucius, he comes bowling up to me, and asks me to do him this right iffy favor. Oh, it doesn't matter what it was. The point being, against my better judgment, I agreed to do it. But, Lucius, I told him, I told him straight. If you let me down Onslow, I will tuck you up, sunshine, like a kipper. He swears blind, swears on his mother's grave he'd never do such a thing. But of course he did. Couldn't help himself; he let me down. So I tucked him up. Like a kipper.

  Lucius Fox : What is a Kipper?

  Alfred Pennyworth : It's a type of smoked fish. Very nice with eggs and brown toast for breakfast. But what I learned from Onslow is this. There are two types of people on this planet, you see. Them you can trust... and them you can't.

  Lucius Fox : I cannot disagree.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Which kind are you?

  Lucius Fox : Both kinds of people would give you the same answer, wouldn't they?

  Alfred Pennyworth : Exactly. Exactly right. There lieth the problem, Lucius. You see, I need to confide in you. But I need to know that you're trustworthy.

  Lucius Fox : Perhaps I should decline your confidence. I don't like the sound of these kippers.

• [Bruce Wayne talks to Alfred Pennyworth at the train station to not leave] 

  Bruce Wayne : I don't want you to go, Alfred. But you're either with me or you're against me. And if you're against me, I don't have a choice.

  Alfred Pennyworth : I'm with you, Master Bruce. I've always been with you. But what you're doing is tantamount to suicide. This is big boy stuff. You're too young; you're not ready.

  Bruce Wayne : Then make me ready. You-You've lived a dangerous life, and you've survived. So teach me. Teach me how to do the same. I'll do whatever it takes. I'll train every day.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Yeah, well, you said that before, didn't you?

  Bruce Wayne : That was before. Now I know the truth. And I know what I have to do. I'll even go back to school, if you want.

  Alfred Pennyworth : School, even?

• [Alfred Pennyworth threatens Lucius Fox for if he betrays him and Bruce Wayne] 

  Alfred Pennyworth : I mean, it's you, after all, Lucius, that created this mess when you told young Master Bruce that his dear old dead dad... was a stoic.

  Lucius Fox : Ah.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Ah, exactly. You see, there's a problem, I got no one else to turn to. I have to confide in you.

  Lucius Fox : I see.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Do you? Let me just be crystal clear about this. If it turns out... that I can't trust you, I swear on my mother's grave, you, my old sausage... are a dead man.

  Lucius Fox : I have only the best intentions for Bruce Wayne.

  Alfred Pennyworth : [Alfred leans back with a smile calling out to the bartender]  Well, another gin and tonic please, uh, governor. And whatever this young man is drinking, one for yourself. How are you at fixing computers?

• Bruce Wayne : This computer could contain all my father's research into Wayne Enterprises. All this time, I've been looking for a smoking gun, and here it is.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Exactly. A smoking gun. Now, guns are for grown-ups, aren't they?

  Bruce Wayne : That's a metaphor, Alfred, not an argument.