Archer (TV Series)

Three to Tango (2015)

Chris Parnell: Cyril Figgis

Quotes 

• Sterling Archer : You're not worried?

  Lana Kane : Why should I worry? Because I'm the one that ripped off Conway's hand?

  Sterling Archer : No, about...

  Lana Kane : Or that he'll double-cross us again?

  Sterling Archer : Which, a blow-job says he does. And Mother and Slater and the CIA are idiots for trusting him. But I'm talking about us flying on the same plane, Lana. What if it crashed?

  Lana Kane : Then I wouldn't have had to watch you pound twenty drinks and then try to talk the stewardess into a handjob.

  Sterling Archer : Wh-where are you getting "twenty drinks"?

  Lana Kane : Uh, from ten doubles.

  Sterling Archer : "A", those were mini-bottles; and two, I'm talking about A.J., Lana. Who's going to take care of her if something happens to both of us.

  [Lana is about to say something, then stops] 

  Malory Archer : Well, me, obviously.

  Cyril Figgis : You think- Okay, wow. You think, in the event of their deaths, that you would be A.J.'s legal guardian.

  Malory Archer : Who else would they possibly choose?

  Ray Gillette : You've met yourself, right?

  Ray Gillette : [lights cigarette]  If it's anybody around here, it's me.

  Cyril Figgis : Of course. The one who smokes next to the baby.

  Ray Gillette : Dukes!

  [Ray takes a long draw from his cigarette] 

  Cyril Figgis : Ray!

  [Ray holds up a finger, continues to draw until the cigarette is almost entirely ash, then drops the whole thing into Cyril's coffee] 

  Cyril Figgis : You know...

  [Ray exhales the smoke into Cyril's face, causing him to cough] 

  Malory Archer : [batting away the smoke]  All right, Virginia Slim. You're...

  [she looks into the pram, a startled expression frozen on her face] 

  Malory Archer : [quickly]  Nap time! I have a meeting. Good-bye.