Archer (TV Series)

Three to Tango (2015)

Judy Greer: Cheryl Tunt

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Slater : [V.O. on establishing location shot]  Wait. What happened? I thought you were gonna renovate this place.

  Malory Archer : As did I, but I was betrayed by a lying little country music wannabe.

  Cheryl Tunt : [shouting from outside the room]  Was that directed at me?

  Malory Archer : Yes! Who else?

  Cheryl Tunt : [shouting]  I don't know who all lies to you!

  [intercom beeps] 

  Cheryl Tunt : [sweetly over intercom]  Also, there's a Mr. Slater here to see you.

  Slater : It's just "Slater". It's a mononym, like...

  Malory Archer : Jesus Christ!

  Slater : Nope.

• [discovering their mission is to extract Conway Stern from Argentina] 

  Sterling Archer : Yeah, can I start? You guys mind if I start? I'll start. Are you out of your shitting mind?

  Malory Archer : [simultaneously]  Sterling!

  Slater : [simultaneously]  Excuse me?

  Sterling Archer : He literally stabbed me in the back!

  Slater : Because you jeopardized his mission.

  Lana Kane : What mission? To sell classified military technology to the Chinese?

  Slater : *Phony* technology we *wanted* China to have. They've been chasing their tails on the whisper drive for years.

  Lana Kane : Oh.

  Sterling Archer : "Oh"?

  Malory Archer : I knew it. In my heart of hearts, I knew he was one of good guys.

  Sterling Archer : Literally! The back! Stabbed it!

  Slater : Well, but then you people ripped off his hands, so...

  Sterling Archer : After he literally stabbed me! In the back!

  Malory Archer : Oh, give it a rest, Sterling. I'm sure you did something to deserve it.

  Sterling Archer : What-?

  Malory Archer : But now you have a chance to right that wrong, which is a rare thing.

  Slater : About as rare as getting called up to the majors from single-A ball, which is...

  Lana Kane : Hey!

  Malory Archer : Lana! I'm sure that was a sports analogy meant to be cutting, but we will take the mission, won't we, Sterling?

  Sterling Archer : Huh? Yeah. Oh, sorry. I- It's just, I-I'm worried my entire life I've been misusing the word "literally"!

  [smashed intercom beeps] 

  Cheryl Tunt : [distorted]  And certaintly *over*using.

• [Malory has attacked and is choking Cheryl in the restroom when Pam peeks over the wall between stalls wearing her bra under nothing else] 

  Pam Poovey : Hey! Is it too much to ask during the goddamn workday for two separate sessions of 80 uninterrupted minutes each of quality dump time?

  Cheryl Tunt : [gasping]  I mean, I'm not a labor attorney...

  Malory Archer : Yes! It is entirely too much to ask!

  Pam Poovey : I thought so, yeah. I'll pass that on to who or whomever asked.

• Malory Archer : Baby A.J.! She's missing!

  Cheryl Tunt : [simultaneously gasp, say]  Oh, my god!

  Pam Poovey : [simultaneously gasp, say]  Oh, thank god!

• Malory Archer : Will you shut up? I need to think.

  Pam Poovey : [bringing her a drink]  Don't yell at me, I didn't lose her. Now just try to retrace your steps.

  [tearing noise] 

  Malory Archer : Well, I wasn't in the sofa cushions.

  Cheryl Tunt : [holding a knife and slashed cushion]  Agh! Well, you could have said that.

  Malory Archer : I did.

  Cheryl Tunt : [screaming]  I thought you were being sarcastic!

  Pam Poovey : It is kinda hard to tell with you.