Theresa & Allison (2019) Poster

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4/10
Dull and pointless
simon-721-97793323 November 2019
Just couldn't get into this. Interesting premise and yet another new take on the vampire genre (see Byzantium which is far superior albeit on a much bigger budget) but ultimately badly acted by supporting cast (the characters of Paisley, Tony and the Russian mother were at best wooden). Some interesting ideas though around government complicity, family and survival. Ultimately undone by the supporting cast.
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3/10
Mixed bag
Call-Me-Mr-Smith11 November 2019
A low budget production reminiscent of early Giallo or Fantastique, both in terms of its theme and the exuding naivete, and made contemporary through utilisation of the fact that, in the meantime, the boundaries were pushed much higher. There is some evident enthusiasm which tries to compensate for the lack of skill and the low budget, but that was insufficient to make the viewing any much more enjoyable. Mostly female cast performance ranged from competent (lead and support) to not so (bits and extras), with exception of the male principal, who pocketed this role on some other merit. Congruent with the theme, there was quite a bit of blood and gore, but this never feels overwhelming for the average connoisseur of the genre. The same goes for the sex and nudity, which were measured and in the function of the story. So, in conclusion, this 3/10-star genre movie caters to a specific viewer for whom it might be of some interest, while the others would find it a waste of time...unless you are a pubescent boy (or a girl?). Oh, yes, and this blatant upvoting fools no one. No, it's not a 10-star movie by any stretch of the imagination.
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4/10
Started amazing, goes to stupid, ends at nonsense.
PJK24 December 2019
The opening of this was quite amazing. Some great imagery, great acting choices, interesting tone. Thought it was going to become a vampire allegory ala The Addiction, but with a more modern slant. A tribute to what you can do on a micro budget.

Then upon the introduction of the second titular character every scene becomes monologues of characters talking about far more interesting things than what they had the budget to film and how those things informed who they are, breaking a primary rule of filmmaking, show don't tell. We don't need to know what a character will do if we never see them act and their actions have nothing to do with the movie. That's just a writer sacrificing story and characters for the sake of world building.

Which is dumb, because the world they built was rife with cliche after cliche. The smaller more interesting story of Theresa seemed on the verge of saying something original about the modern world with its juxtaposition of horror imagery, graphic nudity, and disassociated longing for something else.

Ariella Hope is good though. In the first half she is in fact quite excellent. You feel her desire, her pain. You care even though she's just been introduced. She conveys empathy as naturally as Jake Gyllenhaal. Then later she tries her hardest to make it seem like every new character that comes in and talks for ten minutes is providing something relevant to her journey, even if they don't. Not even remotely. You believe her conflict even though it all just centers around someone she met that day. She has a lot of talent and I really wish they had used that ability to tell the story I thought they were going for: vampirism as a metaphor for mistaking sex as intimacy, the dangers of projection, confusing longing for a connection.

Instead, they talked for an hour and a half about a world they never showed us for a bunch of sequels they aren't likely to make, starring all the characters I didn't care about.
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2/10
Another false rating pumped by insiders
goods1164 December 2019
Again, if you're going to have your friends family and other insiders create false ratings, you should spread out the ratings between 6,7,8 & 9, maybe some 10s. You can do this for your next movie. In the meantime for everyone else, know that this movie is not worth watching.
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2/10
Lesson: Don't be fooled by the IMDB score on Amazon, check the number of voters!
premodern15 November 2019
I watched this because it had a 7.7 IMDB score on Amazon Prime. But obviously, it is just the average score, sample size also matters! How could I know that the 63 people who voted were probably cast's close friends and family!

2 hours of my life wasted. Don't make the same mistake. This is a pointless very boring low-cost production.
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Fake good ratings and reviews probably invovle more creative effort than the entire film did
random-7077821 January 2020
Please sue your "film school" for malpractice instead of subjecting your audience to another awful film where you managed to omit having a narrative. And keep that barista job.
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1/10
Terrible, just terrible
randomfx0123 January 2020
You know it's going to be terrible as the insipid first act enfolds.

I don't know where all the high reviews have come from. Oh, wait, maybe I'm not woke enough to appreciate another woeful remake.

Not even worth watching.

Avoid
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1/10
A load of rubbish.
markymark-0327020 February 2020
Obviously low budget, dreadful acting, poor dialogue. Trust the reviews of 4/10 and less. This is garbage at best, almost 2 hours of my life, I won't get back. Do not watch, find something better to do.
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1/10
Terrible film.
darrell-237156 May 2020
Only got 3 minutes and 17 seconds into the film, decided to turn it off and then the two nude women appeared, waited for 8 minutes and then......off. What a rubbish start to the film, turned me off it straight away and the person that decided that a fish eye lens was the best way to go needs to be sacked.
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7/10
surprisingly adequate
natcalgary1 February 2020
I had no idea this was a vampire movie. It has been a long time since I have seen a good vampire movie (2o years +) but this was pretty good. Acting was great and the story line kept me intrigued the whole time

6.9
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3/10
Very low budget and drawn out
acedj30 March 2020
I saw this movie only because I was watching a horror movie on Amazon and got busy and this one started up next. It is the story of a young woman named Theresa that gets quite drunk one night and falls victim to a female vampire. The vampire gets drunk, yes drunk, from the alcohol in Theresa's blood and ends up turning her so she does not die. Theresa ends up struggling with being a once pacifist to now having to take lives for sustenance. Enter Allison, a woman born in the seventies and turned when she was 20 something, who tries to educate Theresa.

OK, first of all, Allison kept saying that she would be an old grandma in a nursing home instead of young and beautiful has she not been turned. Both of these statements are factually incorrect. Being in your 40s does not relegate someone to a nursing home, clearly whoever wrote this was terrible at math. Also, the actress playing Allison was not what I would call beautiful, but that is of course in the eye of the beholder.

All of the interactions between Theresa and the other vampires she encounters seem forced, not organic. There was absolutely no reason for Allison to seek her out, nor was there any reason for Allison's ex-boyfriend to also seek Theresa out. There is also a lot of pro gay/lesbian thematic elements here and the movie treats straight men like they are monsters that do not care who the woman is, they automatically want to sleep with them.

The writing was terrible and the acting was not much better, especially from the supporting cast. Anyone rating this film higher than a 5 must be associated with the movie or a friend of someone that was. Do not believe them. If you are looking for a good erotic horror, this is not it. If you are looking for a movie with plenty of nudity then this is that film, but do not expect it to be very arousing as even the sex scenes were shot without any artistic lens or believably.
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8/10
Enjoyable throwback to old-school erotic vampire efforts
kannibalcorpsegrinder28 March 2021
After a disastrous one-night stand, a woman awakes to find herself turned into a vampire and forced to live under the rules established by an organization to keep them from being exposed, but when her feelings about the situation threaten everyone around her she tries to deal with the truth about being a vampire.

This was a rather interesting if flawed indie vampire effort. Among the more impressive features with this one is the overall setup of the vampire society that brings the two together throughout the film. As there's a full-on introduction scene that lays out the rules and regulations of the society including what specific powers are real and made-up, the amount of work accomplished here to give us an idea of what they're actually capable of. That it carries on into the training session where we get to see how they hunt and what their powers can do by working on the skills to be needed for survival which comes into play as we see how useful those skills become later on in the film. Given how much importance is placed on these skills, the end result of those tutorials results in some impressive action scenes. The montages about her previous activities feeding on the previous victims are brutal and sloppy befitting the lack of training, while the alleyway encounter and the series of vampires that arrive in her life manage to make for a much more fruitful setup of the later brutal found in the party massacre between them and their victims. Seeing the barbaric cruelty they have over their food and how they come together for their feasting it creates a lot of fun for the most part, and generates a lot of fun with the indie-styled goer and bloodshed on display. Coupled with the fine sleaze and nudity here, there's quite a lot to like here that holds this one up. This one does manage to have a few issues. One of its bigger issues is the overlong running time which is quite unnecessary. The whole concept of the film going through the various conversations that take place here, from the two meeting up and going over the pitfalls of their situation to the history of how each one turned or the numerous discussions about what's real and what's been incorrectly injected into vampire lore based on the movies, are all well-done-enough at establishing the general setup of the film yet highlight the dreary pace on display. That goes along hand-in-hand with the flashbacks and montages of her past victims that take up a large part of the first half, making for a wholly exaggerated running time that doesn't need to be as long as it is. The other issue is the decidedly unappealing main relationship that supposedly runs the entire film. The two are barely together as instead it's either the male vampire teaching her how to be one of them or the other pacifist like her who spend the majority of the time together training her how to be, and it highlights the fact that the main relationship between the two doesn't work. Her reluctance and hesitation at joining them are counterbalanced by the glee and joy at killing others, especially in the party where they finally come together but it doesn't feel earned since the two haven't been together, don't train each other how to behave and really are at odds with each other the entire film which makes for a rather odd main couple. As well as the wholly obvious low-budget setup, these here are what hold this down.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Nudity, Extreme Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, a sex scene, Rape and drug use.
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7/10
I've missed good vampire flicks for a long time
sahlgoode22 January 2020
I liked it. It had plenty of sensuality with enough gore to keep a horror fan interested. The characters were pretty well all engaging. The acting , and cinematography had me focused on the screen the whole time.

I've missed good vampire flicks for a long time. This was a good one.

The surprise ending spells sequel. I hope they can pull it off
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2/10
Hard to finds words to describe this mess
bluestrat30 June 2020
After just a few minutes you realize this crap is virtually unwatchable. I turned it off after about 20 minutes. This film should be required viewing at all acting classes, all film schools and all colleges that have a film program. It perfectly shows you, on every level - how not to make a movie...
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3/10
Could have been really funny
okpilak19 October 2022
This could have been a really good movie, but I don't think they knew what to do with it. Theresa gets turned (into a vampire) and winds up at a registration place. It seems that vampires are known, and there are rules to follow, and then they are left alone simply as just one more predator in society. She is told to forget about what she saw in the movies about vampires. As far as the victim's bodies "we have people who handle that." She is told she is now forever 17, and will never age. She meets Allison, who becomes her guide to help her adjust to her new experience. "Don't feel bad, it is what we are." Her sense of smell and taste will be heightened. Children are extremely delicious, but that was more in the past as we are now in the time of Amber alerts and Nancy Glass. Theresa's first kills are told in flashbacks until she got registered. The story telling just turns into a mess and things are thrown in that really detract from the story. And a lot of that is that the movie is simply too long for what they had, so it got padded. It should have been more about the rules they needed to follow to live among the others, instead of throwing in the party scenes and the 'Mother". That would have been a chance for a fish out of water type of humor.
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1/10
Wow this Movie I would not even Call it A Movie!
javierubio17 December 2020
I am Speechless, It was one of the worst films I have ever seen in my whole life Q Also it did not have any logical with the story and the acting was shameless! Also kinda gross showing up blood everywhere and if the Director tried to show some sexiness in this it was total opposite! Please before watching this movie trust in my common sense! It is not a good movie!
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7/10
Excellent
juan-uk21 May 2023
One of the greatest vampire movies I've seen. And it's great because it's so realistic without the usual fantasy, magic and special effects we are accustomed in the genre and most viewers prefer judging by some of the unfairly negative reviews here. Despite the long running time it's never boring and manages to keep the viewer interested which is quite something nowadays

It's certainly an18 plus rating as there are plenty of violence, gore, torture and sexual violence. I was surprised this movie wasn't banned. You will not be disappointed if you are a cultured viewer in search of something good in this genre.

Loved it.
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8/10
A Pretty Good Movie
stan-069273 September 2020
Forget that there are 2 lesbians (well...actually 1 is a lesbian), but there are some pretty good scenes that get even more perverse as the movie goes on. I seem to watch the first 40 minutes the most. Theresa and Allison isn't going to win Academy Awards, but it's quite entertaining. I've seen hundreds of vampire movies and I can watch this movie over and over again. If you're a fan of Vamp movies, you'll enjoy this one. It's on Amazon Video.
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8/10
Erotic Vampire romance in vein of Rollin
linniallenla28 January 2020
In this new film from Jeremiah Kipp he shows us that there are still people who know how to make erotic gothic romance. Arielle and Sarah do an amazing job acting and delivering very emotional, sexy, and gripping performances as the two lead actresses. Reminiscent of an old Jean Rollin film we are introduced to these erotic ladies of the night in a modern setting, which makes for a unique tale. Even though we're in the city, Kipp manages to keep this dark and monotone feeling while you're watching these actresses show their vampiric prowess. Filled with emotional performances, realistic acting, gratuitous and very sexy lovely naked ladies. Kipp has managed to breathe a little life into the drab and dismal films coming out of Hollywood.

I can't tell you how much a breathe of fresh air this film was. Hardly anybody makes decent erotic films anymore. So hopefully Jeremiah Kipp is taking a page from Domiziano Cristopharo and bringing a little bit of European cinema to the States. If you like erotic romance, if you like blood-covered naked bodies, then definitely find a copy of this film and watch it. Kudos to Kipp, may he not get distracted by the bright lights of the industry, keep his head focused on this type of film, he's very good at it.
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8/10
Against all odds, a diamond in the rough
I_Ailurophile31 October 2021
Within mere minutes 'Theresa & Allison' informs us in no uncertain terms exactly what it is, with no pretense otherwise. It's very low-budget, emphasized by the modest production values and a score that is at some times very appropriate, and at other times questionable. The dialogue and initial pace is brazenly forthright. Charles D. Lincoln apparently marks his first feature film as a writer, and also wears hats as casting director, assistant director, wardrobe manager, and cast member. Above all, no matter where our attention may otherwise turn, there's an astounding inelegance to the presentation, ever bordering on inauthenticity, that flavors or outright dominates the runtime.

If you can get past all the indelicacies - of which there are many - then there's some great ideas here. I love the cheeky notion of a shadow government agency providing sanctioned oversight of creatures of the night. Though it's hardly the first time we've seen it, there's great potential in the story of a newly turned vampire learning about herself, her new reality, and the politics of the night, and I feel like 'Theresa & Allison' explores that space with a fullness that somewhat differs from its brethren. Some of the dialogue and scene writing is a tawdry mess, but there's also no small amount that is wonderfully clever. Similarly, there's no question that the acting is often over the top - but it's fitting for the nature of the picture, and the tone it strikes, and clearly purposeful. Makeup and blood effects are good, and where set design and decoration meaningfully comes into play, it's actually pretty great. Quite honestly, with a more generous budget, and slightly more care in the screenplay, this would have been outstanding.

As it is - outstanding this is not, of course. It's rife with difficulties. But unimpressive as it is at first, and for all its flaws, this is so much better than it has any right to be. I began watching with no particular expectations, and quickly began to doubt what I had committed myself to - but ultimately find that I love it. 'Theresa & Allison' defies the limits of its minimal financing, and overcomes the gracelessness in its craft, to become a surprisingly compelling story about a young woman overwhelmed with a new perspective on the world. It's absorbing, entertaining, satisfying - and at length, even rewarding.

I think it's safe to say that one has to have an open mind in approaching this film, just because what first greets us is frankly off-putting. But if you're willing to sift through the gristle to find the meat, 'Theresa & Allison' is very much worth seeking out.
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8/10
Good Effort
ambercatgoddess-484-73389816 November 2019
The acting at times could be better. I can imagine the director rolling his eyes a few times. But overall I enjoyed it. The blood appeared real and well done. The scenes were well done and yes they lacked that certain Hollywood polish we may have grown accustomed to.

I am a role-player and I especially enjoy Vampire The Masquerade. This does not show vampires being incredibly sparkly or exceptionally sexual. It is more real and more raw than I have ever seen. Believe you me I have seen many a vampire film and this one will be in my collection.
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9/10
Real, Raw, and Wonderful
jgfxm17 November 2019
Vampire stories are tough to manage. are they sparkling troubled teens? Are they Byronic decadents? Are they brutal meat monster killing machines? It all depends on what you want, or really what the creator of the book or movie want them to be. Of course this movie is not an exception to the rule. The writers and director made choices and followed them. And it works. It really, really does. The worldview is brought into focus by Miranda, played with low key sincerity by Alyson Danielczuk. She is a kind of narrator and chorus who with a sweet, nerdy simplicity describes the chamber of horrors Theresa has been thrust into. And it is a gory, red, and raw world indeed. In the beginning I worried that the movie would take a road into camp. Theresa sits at a desk and is blandly introduced to the vampire world via a nearly Kafkaesque beurocrat. But soon she meets Allison, and the game really begins. All the principle acting in this mostly female cast is well done. Arielle Hope (Theresa) and Sarah Schoofs (Allison) give their all to their roles and shine. And they are such real and natural looking women that seeing them naked in bed with each other feels warm and true and honest. We see real women in an unreal place and it is intense. That pays off later when things really get rolling. Charles Lincoln plays Tony, and his performance is true and solid as well. Sure, some of the minor players are pretty weak, even groan-inducing at times. The character Paisley is never really brought to life. Ah well. The low budget movie is shot well and the visuals are very nice, with attention to composition and style. There is a great scene with a naked and blood covered Theresa talking on the phone that is filmed just right, and I felt all the gravity of the moment. I'm a horror fan, so let me assure you this has all the gore and bare flesh you want. But all of it, and I mean every bare body and drop of blood is used to ideal effect and enhances the story. In key scenes Theresa needs to be naked for the purity of verisimilitude, and it works. If she were clothed there would be safety, or sanity. It is not a mistake that Miranda is never seen nude, and dresses simply and conservatively. Watch this movie. You'll like it.
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8/10
For the record I am real, check my other reviews too all overto be troll thank you
westpenn4930 August 2021
And yet I liked this movie in a perverse way. At times it was just too gory for my tastes and yet the gore wasn't totally gratuitous and yes it was preachy, but I thought the story that went with the long monologues actually scratched at some truth about the human condition. And of course there are some sexy nude shots, but again they all work together.

The Tony character gets more screen time than I would like, but then he was also the writer so you know he was going to get a juicy part.

The most annoying and least helpful character was the Russian Vampire Sakkara. While the others may have been unlikable they were watchable and had some purpose moving the story forward. Sakkara was wooden and over the top reminding me of some of my college friends who were into "Drama, Darling" and lived life as though they were Sara Bernhardt.

Never the less the film is better than it's detractors say and worth a spin. It is fun and campy at times, gory and creepy at others, but always with some intelligence even in the crazy Paisley lies a bit of truth that we might otherwise deny.
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8/10
Surprisingly Gory
derek-duerden30 November 2022
I wasn't really sure what to expect from this (other than "lesbian vampires"...) and - despite the vampire theme - found it to be bloodier than expected.

However, as a "modern world" take on things, with corporate oversight and helplines for victim disposal, I thought that there were some nice touches. Theresa's internal conflict I thought was well-developed, culminating in a touching scene with the most awkward "phone call from Mom" ever.

After that, though, the film seems to lose its way and I'm not sure that they knew how to end it. Shame about some of the acting also... having one's friends rally round to help out doesn't mean that they know what they are doing, even if it helps keep the budget down! Jean Rollin needn't worry.

Hopefully everyone had fun though.
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