In-Lawfully Yours (2016)

Chelsey Crisp: Jesse

Quotes 

• Jesse : I have an idea. Let's go churching. No, nope, not a verb. I still think we should go. You've been asking me to go for years. Today's the day.

  Naomi : Maybe you should just go.

  Jesse : No, I'm not going to church alone; they'd burn me at the stake.

• Ben : Naomi, are you sure this is a good idea?

  Naomi : My son wants me to move in with him. I'm not going to say no.

  Ben : No, I mean that too. But -

  [Jesse walks up to them] 

  Ben : Never mind.

  Jesse : He means letting me stay with you.

  Ben : That is not what I meant.

  [looks at Naomi after Jesse passes] 

  Ben : . That's what I meant.

• Ben : The church could use some help... a little bit in the office, help out with youth club. It'd just be a few hours here and there.

  Jesse : Would you be my boss?

  Ben : Yes.

  Jesse : Can I date my boss?

  Ben : Let me check. Yes.

  Jesse : Yes, then I would like this job.

  Ben : You would?

  Jesse : Yes.

  Ben : Okay, what are your qualifications?

  Jesse : Oh, I'm adorable, and...

  Ben : You're hired.

• Jesse : [after their first kiss]  That wasn't bad for a pastor.

  Ben : That was pretty tame for a heathen, though.

• Ben : Two please.

  Jesse : Oh, no, I got mine.

  Ben : No, they're $2.50 each. I'll treat.

  Jesse : Okay, just don't think that I'm sleeping with you because you're paying.

  Ben : She's kidding; we're not...

  Jesse : I don't put out for $2.50, right Doris? But you spring for popcorn... I dunno. We'll talk about it.

• Ben : You know what? We don't generally ask questions during the sermon. Sorry.

  Jesse : Oh, sorry.

  [to the congregation] 

  Jesse : Sorry.

  [whispers as she sits down] 

  Jesse : Of course you don't.

  Naomi : It's all right.

  Ben : Where was I?

  Jesse : That's a question.

  Ben : Is it?

  Jesse : Also a question.

• Ben : Monkey bread?

  Jesse : Chazz and I got a divorce.

  Ben : Since I've been in the kitchen?

• Ben : C'mon. I'll walk you home.

  Jesse : I'll walk *you* home. I assume you have a home, though, yes?

  Ben : Yes. Technically it's a room in the back of the church, but yes.

  Jesse : Awww.

  Ben : The commute's great.