- Christy: All he did was sit on the couch, smoking pot and yelling out wrong answers to "Jeopardy!", and never once in the form of a question!
- Violet: Yeah well *you* would get drunk and disappear for days on end.
- Christy: Oh that's not true.
- Violet: Remember Roscoe's 1st grade graduation?
- [pause]
- Violet: Of course you don't, because you were too hungover to get out of bed. But Baxter was there.
- Christy: He went to Roscoe's graduation?
- Violet: Actually he went to the 3rd grade graduation first, but the point is he was there.
- Christy: Whoopty do, he showed up for one event! Let's put him on a stamp!
- Violet: You may not want to remember those days, but I do.
- Christy: [after imagining Mr. Perugian hacking off her hand for not paying the rent, groans] And I just had my nails done.
- Mr. Perugian: [Christy imagines how the conversation will go] You want to give me $50? You owe me four THOUSAND dollars!
- Christy: But I don't have four thousand dollars.
- Mr. Perugian: And now you don't have your hand!
- [hacks Christy's hand off with a cleaver]