The Matchbreaker (2016)

Osric Chau: Sam

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sam : So, she's a little messy. You're a perfect match. You don't pay the electric bills, you'll never see the mess.

• [First lines] 

  Sam : Why'd you breakup with her?

  Ethan Cooper : Seven reasons actually. Number one, she doesn't vote.

  Sam : Eh!

  Ethan Cooper : Shh! Number two, she cheered for Bulgaria in the last Olympics.

  Sam : Bulgarians don't even cheer for Bulgaria.

  Ethan Cooper : Okay, so it was one Bulgarian and he was missing an arm.

  Sam : The rest of the time she cheered for America?

  Ethan Cooper : Yes.

  Sam : Okay, that one's a stretch too. Look, why don't you just forget your seven reasons and admit that you only need one to talk yourself out of any girl.

  Ethan Cooper : What's that?

  Sam : That she's not Emily.

• Sam : You know, as someone who hasn't been in a relationship for a while, I think you have to move past the weird thing. Was she breathing?

• Ethan Cooper : [to Sam]  Aw, come on, man. The laundry basket is less than ten feet away.

  [to the dog by pointing at the socks] 

  Ethan Cooper : Beast!

  Sam : You taught him how to do laundry?

  Ethan Cooper : Apparently not.

• Sam : [throwing water on Ethan's face]  Those were MY boxers.

• Ethan Cooper : I was in awe of her, never dreaming that on June 4th, 2004, at 3:26 PM, she would take my heart, throw it in a backpack, toss it in a van, and drive away with it.

  Sam : You poor thing.

  Ethan Cooper : I was devastated.

• Sam : You're the expert. There's got to be a chip in that high gloss, heavy duty, premium quality paint.