Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

Care Bears Nutcracker Suite (2014)

Tamara Chambers: Tamara, Mrs. Hornhead

Quotes 

• [Tamara and Malcolm notice that the Critic is in a catatonic state] 

  Tamara : Oh my God, what is wrong with him?

  Malcolm : Christmas withdrawal. Happens every year.

  Tamara : Is he gonna snap out of it?

  Malcolm : Maybe with a Christmas Bloody Mary. Come on, buddy. It's perfect for any Christmas hangover. It's blended fruitcake with just a hint of eggnog.

  [he takes a sip, only to gag when he notices how bad it is] 

• Tamara : [she and Malcolm are trying to shake the Critic out of his post-Christmas funk]  Maybe if we take him to the theater and show him some traditional Christmas movies.

  Malcolm : Good idea.

  [they show the Critic the AMC website, trying to find a movie to see] 

  Malcolm : Think we'll find a film about Christmas showing?

  Tamara : Malcolm, no movies about Christmas come around this time of year.

  Malcolm : But you said Christmas movies.

  Tamara : Oh, well, I mean a movie that comes out around Christmas, not about Christmas. Like we can take him to one of these true story movies. A bunch of those come out this time of year.

  [she notices such movies displayed as "Big Eyes", "The Imitation Game", and "Unbroken", among others] 

  Malcolm : Or how about one of these fantasy films? There's always a few of those playing, too.

  [he sees notices for movies like "The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies", "Into the Woods" and "Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb"] 

  Tamara : Yeah, one of those actually ties into the category of "people making musicals who shouldn't be making musicals" musicals.

  Malcolm : As well as the expensive kids films nobody attempted to make good.

  Tamara : Yeah.

  Malcolm : We always do have the Oscar bait white guilt films.

  Tamara : Now what is that one?

  Malcolm : Oh, this year, it's "Selma", but before it was "The Blind Side", "20 Years a Slave", "Django"...

  Tamara : No kidding.

  Malcolm : Yeah. I love those movies, 'cause the Critic always takes me out to dinner afterwards.

  Tamara : Oh, good job

• [as Malcolm and Tamara find a movie to take the Critic to, he points out one in particular, moaning as he does] 

  Malcolm : What?

  [they look toward what he's pointing at] 

  Malcolm : Oh, that's just the kids screening of the "Care Bears Nutcracker". You don't want to see that.

  [the Critic moans again] 

  Malcolm : Dude, they're only playing it because it was cheap to get.

  [the Critic keeps moaning] 

  Tamara : Critic, are you seriously saying that you want to sit through a bunch of whiny brats so that you can watch something slightly Christmas related?

  [later, the Critic, looking quite irritable, is seated in a movie theater full of balloons and overexcited children] 

  Nostalgia Critic : [seething with hatred]  So worth it.