Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight (2014)
Ryan Stiles: Dr. Herb Melnick
Quotes
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Dr. Herb Melnick : I'd keep my fingers crossed for a boy.
Walden Schmidt : Why?
Dr. Herb Melnick : Well, basic math. If you have a boy, you only have to worry about one penis. You have a girl, you have to worry about 'em all.
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Dr. Herb Melnick : [Walden is concerned that the delivery of their pre-adopted baby is taking so long, so pediatrician Herb explains] Sometimes the baby just doesn't want to come out. Put yourself in its position. For nine months you've been floatin' in the world's nicest water-bed, then somebody opens a trap door, all the water flows out, a set of salad tongs grabs you by the head and yanks you out, and then some guy you've never seen before starts slappin' you on the ass. Reminds me of a trip I took to Tijuana once!
