Mick Foley: Commissioner Mick Foley

Quotes 

• The Undertaker : You know, I'm standing in the back there, and I couldn't help but overhear you say how you respected the Undertaker. Let me remind you why you should respect the Undertaker. Because back when you were in high school, in the back seat of your daddy's car trying to get some off of old Mary Jane Rotten Crotch, I was humping these roads and I was winning WWF titles. But you got to tell me, who in the hell are you to call me out? You know, there's just some people, they never learn. And I guess the People's Champ never learns, either. I told you Thursday night at "SmackDown!", don't piss me off. Then what do you do? You leave me hanging in the ring and the Dudleys put me through the damn table. So, Rock, that pissed me off. So you can stand out here, you can lift all the eyebrows you want, you can talk about all the monkey's nipples you want, hell, you can even fantasize about shoving things up people's asses, I don't give a damn. But you called me out, boy. I just hope that you can back up the smack your mouth's spewing out. 'Cause let me remind you of something. Although I don't dress like Satan anymore, I'm still down with the devil, and I will go medieval on your ass.

  [Mick Foley's music hits, and the crowd cheers as he comes out and rolls into the ring] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Now, just a second. Before you two go to tearing each other apart before what I consider to be one of the most important pay-per-views in recent history, let me spell out the rules of the fatal four-way at Unforgiven. You see, it's very simple. Four men enter the ring and they all wrestle at the same time. Whoever gets the pin wins, and whoever wins the match really wins, because that person becomes the next WWF champion. That means, Rock, you do not have to lose the match to lose the WWF championship. Now, as far as the two of you tearing each other apart, if you thought I came out here to prevent that, you couldn't be more wrong. Undertaker, Rock, you want a part of each other, you got it! The Undertaker and The Rock right here in Chicago, Illinois!

  [as the crowd cheers, it almost instantly turns to boos as Chris Benoit's music hits] 

  Chris Benoit : If anyone deserves a shot at the title tonight, that would be me, the world's greatest technical wrestler, and that's just the way it is. The WWF title is gonna be on the line, then I will be the one fighting for it, because there's no one standing in the ring or anyone in the back that can prove me wrong. I'm the one who deserves a shot at the title tonight.

  [Kane's pyro goes off, and the crowd cheers as he comes out] 

  Kane : What makes you think you deserve The Rock? What makes you think you deserve the WWF title? I deserve a title shot, and I'm the only one who does! Rock, you're mine.

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Now, wait a second, wait a second. I didn't say anything about a title shot, The Rock did. Now, The Rock is capable of many things. He is capable of electrifying a crowd.

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : He is capable of creating a catchphrase that I can steal. Hell, The Rock is even capable of wearing that shirt and getting away with it! But The Rock is not capable of making a title shot, I am. The title will be on the line at Unforgiven, but seeing as how you two want a piece of each other so bad, I'm saying tonight, the two of you will go man-to-man in this very ring! So that's the way it's going to be, Benoit vs Kane, and the Undertaker vs The Rock.

• Triple H : You know, Kurt, you must think I'm an idiot. You think I don't know what goes on in this company still? You know, you put together a little package, I knew about your little package, but you know, Kurt, when I... I started to watch the video here before the night's events, I couldn't help but think to myself, "Maybe I was wrong about Kurt Angle. Maybe this whole thing is just a great big misunderstanding." You see, because it started to dawn on me, Kurt, you are a 30-year-old, prime-of-your-life, physical specimen of a man. You could be defined as a stud. But yet, in front of you stands a complete beauty. The face of an angel, the hair, the body, the personality, she is the total package. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, quite frankly, could be the perfect woman. But yet, you stand in front of her and look at her every week and say, "I just want to be her...

  [air quotes] 

  Triple H : ..."'friend'." Now, what kind of a guy stands in front of a hot woman and just wants to be her... friend?

  Kurt Angle : What are you trying to say?

  Triple H : I mean, you'd like to be... "friends" with Steph, you'd like to hang out with Steph, you'd like to, maybe, go shopping for drapes with Steph. Hey, Kurt, no, listen, hey, don't get upset, okay? There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. This is the year 2000; alternative lifestyles are perfectly acceptable in this day and age. Kurt, if you're batting off the other side of the plate for the rest of us, that's okay. And I understand... Kurt, I can understand you're upset right now, okay? Maybe national television wasn't a good place for me to call you out on this. But it explains a lot, Kurt. I mean, all the looks you've been giving me and the little smirks... I mean, who are you trying to get close to here? Maybe it's time for you to come to terms with your true feelings. Maybe it's time for you to admit it yourself, Kurt. Maybe it's time to open the closet door, Kurt.

  [Mick Foley's music hits, and the crowd cheers as he comes out to join the trio in the ring] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : Triple H, I grew up in a family of amateur wrestlers; I may not have been on Kurt Angle's level, but I myself was an amateur wrestler. And Kurt Angle, may I say that nobody has more respect for what you did for your country in the '96 Olympics than Commissioner Mick Foley. Undoubtedly, you represented the United States in the 1996 Olympics, you were a member of the United States Olympic team. What I'm wondering, in the year 2000, is...

  [sharing a look with Hunter] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : ...what team are you playing for now? Now, Steph... Steph, nobody wants to see this little... triangle break up more than I do, and that is why the match at Unforgiven between Kurt Angle and Triple H has got to take place.

  Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley : No, Mick, no! No!

  Commissioner Mick Foley : And it's why I have made myself the special guest referee. But as far as you two guys trying to tear each other apart tonight, well, that's not going to happen.

  [the crowd boos] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : But that doesn't mean that you three can't see action right here tonight in Chicago, Illinois!

  [the crowd cheers] 

  Commissioner Mick Foley : You see, this very strange happy family will see action when the team of T & A and Trish Stratus face Triple H, Kurt Angle, and... you, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. Thank you very much, and have a nice day!