Bob's Burgers (TV Series)
Friends with Burger-fits (2014)
H. Jon Benjamin: Bob Belcher, Jimmy Jr.
Photos
Quotes
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Linda Belcher : [after Bob wakes up from a nightmare about giving Teddy too many burgers which makes his heart explode]
[wakes up]
Linda Belcher : What-what happened?
Bob Belcher : I'm killing Teddy.
Linda Belcher : What? You're gonna kill Teddy? All right, car's gassed up. That's good. Guess I could home-school the kids 'cause...
Bob Belcher : No, Lin, the burgers are killing him.
Linda Belcher : What?
Bob Belcher : The ones I give him every day.
Linda Belcher : Oh. Gotcha.
Bob Belcher : Good God, Linda. You had all that ready?
Linda Belcher : What? I'm just being supportive.
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Bob Belcher : [to Teddy] Look, I can't in good conscience serve you a burger every day.
Teddy : I don't see you shoving a veggie burger down Mort's throat and he eats a burger every day.
Mort : That's not true. I often get the soup.
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Bob Belcher : [while making a burger for Teddy] Feels weird cooking a veggie burger. Plus, he's going to know it's not a hamburger.
Linda Belcher : Nah, nah, Teddy will eat whatever you put in front of him. Remember when he ate that receipt?
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Bob Belcher : Okay, here's the deal, Teddy. I'll... I'll make you soup or salad, but I don't think I can serve you my burgers anymore.
Teddy : You cutting me off, Bobby?
Bob Belcher : I guess I am.
Teddy : You're cutting me off? Is this some kind of sick joke?
Mort : I think it's for your own good.
Teddy : You stay the hell out of this, Mort!
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Teddy : Bob, if you take your burgers from me, I will murder you and your mouthy wife.
Bob Belcher : What?
Linda Belcher : Huh?
Teddy : [crying] I'm sorry! I don't know what I'm saying.
[gets angry again]
Teddy : I'll kill you! Give me a burger!
Bob Belcher : Teddy! Calm... down.
Teddy : You calm down!
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Linda Belcher : Bob, you see Teddy every day.
Bob Belcher : Yeah, but Teddy's not my best friend, Lin. He's my best customer. There's a big difference and I really value that 30 inches of Formica that's between us.
Gene Belcher : Are you talking about your ding-dong, Daddy? Brag.
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Bob Belcher : [When Teddy signs himself and Bob up for a weekend boot camp] I don't know, Teddy. That... um... doesn't sound like something I want to do.
Louise Belcher : What? You've always wanted to do stunts in the woods.
Gene Belcher : Yeah. Get the hell out of here!
Tina Belcher : Yeah, go for it, Dad. Do it! Though you've already pulled off the toughest stunt of all: raising three great kids.
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Bob Belcher : [to Kevin about Teddy] Listen, Kevin, you can't serve this guy your five-pound burger.
Kevin : Oh, okay, making a note. I can't serve someone a burger in my own restaurant.