- Abe: Henry, breakfast is getting cold.
- [No reaction from Henry]
- Abe: I'm gonna microwave it
- Henry Morgan: Absolutely not. You know how I feel. The microwave is for food what the cellphone is to conversation. It destroy the very thing it wishes to help
- Abe: Oh, calm down. We don't even own a microwave
- Abe: [Telephone rings] Who's that?
- Henry Morgan: [Looks at his pocket watch, sighs] It's 9 o'clock. The average murder victims are discovered between 8 and 8.30. Jo and Hanson most likely have arrived at the scene
- [picks up phone horn]
- Henry Morgan: Hello detective
- Jo Martinez: Hey Henry. I am in Central Park. We found one of yours.
- Henry Morgan: Mine?
- Jo Martinez: Yeah, an aristocrat
- Jo Martinez: He's royalty
- Henry Morgan: The title of viscount is that of a noble, not a royal. There is a difference
- Jo Martinez: Not in New York
- Detective Hanson: 20 minutes I am on hold with this embassy. Doc, doesn't your country care if one of your royals gets got?
- Henry Morgan: Noble! He's a... does no one understand the difference between nobility and royalty?
- Detective Hanson: What? What did he say?
- Henry Morgan: Never mind
- Jo Martinez: Something is off here! An English noble takes a stroll through Central Park in the middle of the night. Somebody stabs him to death, but doesn't take his wallet? This story doesn't make sense
- Henry Morgan: Well, neither does the history. In 1869 Queen Victory revoked Lord Marcel Cavendish's nobility when he stabbed a man to death in a house of ill repute. 6 months later the former Lord was killed in a duel. In fact, the entire Cavendish family died out by 1881.
- Jo Martinez: Hmm. I thought you'd like this case
- Henry Morgan: This man is neither a viscount nor a Cavendish. He's an imposter
- Detective Hanson: [Rushes enthusiastic to Jo and Henry] Jo? Get this: British Embassy's has got no record of nobility for anyone named Colin Cavendish. The guy is a complete imp...
- [disappointed]
- Detective Hanson: Henry already figured this out, didn't he?
- [Jo nods yes]
- Arturo: [Henry and Jo walking into tailor shop] Ha, ha, Dr. Morgan! So good to see you. No appointment today?
- Henry Morgan: Actually Arturo, I'd like you to introduce you to my partner. This is...
- Arturo: [Takes Henry by his arm and turns away] Dr. Morgan, please! You know I don't work with the women! Even if they wear the pantsuit
- Henry Morgan: [Henry is wingman on the funeral of Abe's friend] Do you see her?
- Abe: No, not yet
- Henry Morgan: At least you can pay your respects to your friend
- Abe: Who?
- Henry Morgan: Lyle
- Abe: Meh. Wait, there she is! Oh, Fawn Mahoney. Hum, what a tomato
- Henry Morgan: Abraham? She's the widow?
- Abe: Did I not tell you that? Oh. She's beautiful! I'll just wait till after the service before I...
- Henry Morgan: Abraham! You are not doing this! I forbid you to flirt with the widow! Your friend's wife!
- Henry Morgan: [about to chase another car] Abe, quickly
- Abe: Do I have police permission to violate all speeding laws?
- Henry Morgan: Yes
- Jo Martinez: No! Absolutely not!
- Lt. Joanna Reece: That was nice work Henry! As a matter of curiosity, what were you doing in that cemetery?
- Henry Morgan: My roommate is paying respect to an old girlfriend, the widow of the deceased. I was his wingman
- Lt. Joanna Reece: I've got to learn to stop asking you questions
- Lucas Wahl: [Reenacting the murder] Yeah, I was wondering if I can play the killer this time. I feel like I always play the victim
- Henry Morgan: It's much easier for me to come in character murdering you
- Lucas Wahl: Understood
- Jo Martinez: You know Henry, I thought I was a tough nut to crack. And I mean this with true affection: you are one perplexing man
- Henry Morgan: How so?
- Jo Martinez: You're intensely private, borderline medical savant and you dress pretty well for city work
- Henry Morgan: I suppose it's time I came clean. I'm really Hank Morgan from Ohio
- Jo Martinez: [laughs] No, no! Your brand of eccentricity will take years to perfect
- Henry Morgan: How about centuries?
- Jo Martinez: Someday you'll let me in, when you're ready.