Robert (2015) User Reviews

Horrendously stiff character and acting will make audience root for the evil doll

[quincytheodore · 2/10 · 29 August 2015]

It's inevitable that Robert will be compared to Chucky and Annabelle, which is probably the pitch this movie going for. Neither dolls are perfectly harrowing, but even then Robert has no right of being lined with them. The movie is strictly poorly written and acted. Characters do nothing but scream to each other, and even worse, the wife is so unsympathetically annoying she makes the movie unbearable.

You know the story already, a creepy doll talking to the kid and ruining the family. However, the worse criminal is the wife with her ear-rupturing high pitch voice. One can argue that the boy is expressionless or the husband seems detached, they are nothing compared to the terrible delivery of the wife. She literally screeches and shouts the entire movie, it's a torture beyond what the family has to deal with on-screen. It's like hearing dying animal every five minutes.

Plot doesn't go beyond the typical "who did it" theme and the paranoid wife. It move so horribly slow, when it hits one hour mark it only tells stuff other movies had done in half the span. The horror itself consists of poor editing worse than old stop footage movie. It feels amateurish at best and completely ruins the thrill, which barely exists in the first place.

When an inanimate object with creepy face plastered on it has better screen presence than the character, you know you're in for a terrible ride.

Huh?

[steveraw · 3/10 · 25 August 2015]

Wooden acting, and I don't just mean the doll! This is 'Child's play' with less dark comedy moments.

*incoming spoilers*

This old bat gets sacked as a house keeper and as she leaves she gives the family boy the ugliest doll since Chucky's last dump. Odd things happen, paintings get ruined, foot prints (CLEARLY not belonging to the boy) appear about the place. Mummy blames the boy. A baby sitter gets killed. Mummy gets taken as a crack pot by daddy. Realise doll is possessed. Doll goes whacko-Jacko. No bugger thinks to burn the stupid thing from the start. Doll gets it's comeuppance. Evil spirit enters boy.

NOW!!! Why the mother spotted the paint foot-prints and doesn't know her son well enough to realise they are flippin' square prints, ergo NOT her son's, is a mystery. Why she insists on yelling at her son about it rather than looking at the sodding doll two feet away (with red paint all over it's feet) is another odd ball moment. Why, when she decides it must be the doll, she locks it in a shed full of garden tools rather than incinerating the bloody minded mannequin is stupid move round 3. How this jerky badly animated lump of kindling manages to overcome anyone enough to kill them is laughable. Why, when it advances on mum at the top of the stairs with a baseball bat (and takes a week to reach her) she simply slides down the wall to a convenient head height for the doll, rather than launching a good hard boot into the thing and making with the big legs out of there... who the heck knows. All of the above with a couple of dozen other 'what the fekk are you doing'? moments make this movie a face-palm mess from the start. 3 out of 10 because the doll didn't fluff it's lines and they managed to find the budget to make it in colour. Utter twaddle, but if you want to scare your 4 year old daughter then this might (and I stress the word might) just about do it.

They could have done so much with the story!

[buttrose · 2/10 · 8 October 2015]

Brought this film because I'm into haunted object stories and the story of Robert the doll is a good one. However this film is massively disappointing. Stilted, wooden acting and continuity mistakes mean that it's more of a comedy than a horror. The doll is more like a ventriloquist's doll than the actual doll which is scary as hell. The woman playing the mother isn't really believable as a person, the father is every man role cliché imaginable and the child is unconvincing and lacklustre. Overall they have taken a brilliant story and turned it into 90 minutes of boring, badly acted rubbish. Don't waste your time.

Literally painful to watch it was so bad

[karlycarman · 1/10 · 14 May 2016]

I don't normally write film reviews but feel like I owe it to potential watchers of this movie to write one.

First of all, the people that gave this movie 7/8 put of 10.. have you ever actually seen a decent horror movie?!

The acting if you can call it that was beyond terrible. Literally painful and cringey to watch. Felt like they were all auditioning for a commercial or something.

This could have been so much better had they used decent actors and a slightly bigger budget. Also did anyone notice that the movie was filmed inside a hotel?! Nothing about the movie felt genuine and I didn't expect much from the movie but didn't realize it would be this bad!

Please save yourselves the time and watch a proper horror movie instead. 'The Boy' for example is a great doll horror with a great twist.

Waste of time and money

[smthegamer · 1/10 · 27 August 2015]

I'm no stranger to bad scripts and stupid characters in horror films, but this film had me thinking it was written on bring your kid to work day.

The Wife is an emotional mess that will believe anything, the son shows hardly any emotion towards anything that happens, the husband is a stereotypical 'my wife is crazy but I'll play along' guy... the only character that's worth being in the film is Robert, and he's hardly in it!

Every scene had me re-evaluating what I considered a bad movie, which is a shame considering the potential it had; great graphics, a brilliant killer doll story, set in England. But alas it just wasn't to be, with the women all shown to be weak, the men being imbeciles and the doll practically not even doing anything most of the time (the film focuses on the poorly written Wife).

If you like bad movies get this one, but if you're looking for something decent to watch for whatever reason, steer clear of this film like it'll give you Bubonic Plague.

Don't waste your time on this.

[djangozelf-12351 · 1/10 · 25 August 2015]

Horror is a real overstatement here. Maybe some terror but than for little kids. Acting was just terrible.

The doll looked like the son of Chucky but even less scary the whole movie thru. You don't see him move and his actions are lame. The movie fails in so many ways it's a worst than a B-flick and even a T.V. movie.

Really nothing positive about this production. You are better of watching anything else. It's that bad of a...well.

Something negative.

Minus 10 if possible.

Highest-Maintenance House-Frau Ever

[electricheretic · 3/10 · 4 October 2015]

Beginning with an obvious rip-off from 'Annabelle', the story orbits the hard-to-like character: wife and mother Jen. Pathetically fragile, self-involved, demanding, and laden with First-World problems - a victim before the film even begins.

The actress turns in a good performance but some poor choices were made with the portrayal. With it being so difficult to get on-side with her, any suspense is lost in favour of sadistic hope.

The child actor is nearly as wooden as the doll. It's distracting, whenever he has a line we're reminded that "this is a movie". It fails as a horror with more unintended laughs than scares.

I Need a Match

[dcarsonhagy · 1/10 · 17 January 2016]

Everyone knows (or should) that when you see a movie in this genre (think ALL the "Chucky" movies), you pretty much throw plausible to the wind. You can give certain allowances for certain happenings because, well, it's a movie. Such is NOT the case for "Robert." The movie opens with some sort of back-history about this doll's actual existence. It is supposedly sitting somewhere in some sort of museum in England. Good; it can stay there.

A family consisting of a neurotic wife, an oblivious husband, and a son who acts completely removed from his surroundings, have had the same nanny in their employ for a couple of years. However, her senses seem to be diminishing--she can't remember the simplest of things, does not remember where her cleaning utensils are, etc. The wife fires her. But she will not go quietly into the night. Instead she leaves the son one of the UGLIEST dolls ever created. She tells him that Robert will be his friend from now on (again, think Chucky's "friend-till-the-end" line). She also warns the young boy not to make Robert mad. Well, it seems Robert is quite the temperamental bastard because anything seems to set him off. Mayhem ensues. Yawn.

This movie was one of the most unbelievable pieces of crap I have ever MADE myself sit through. While Robert is killing anyone that moves, the son just sits idly by and says nary word except for "don't make Robert mad." The couple's babysitter has just been knifed to death, but hubby still wants to go out for din-din. One of the wife's paintings is smeared with red paint (which shows up on the feet of Robert), but nothing is ever thought of that. Later on, Robby has brand-new shoes. Simply captivating. All the wife does is whine, the son looks like he's ALWAYS just been hit in the head with a brick, and the husband just wants to work.

Yessir, I was scared to death. All I would ask for is to have Robert spend a night at my house. I'm almost out of kindling. Rated "R" for "really?", this is one movie that should never have been made. The movie has minimal violence and is as boring as watching paint dry.

Do Not Bother

[stephenscotford · 3/10 · 31 December 2020]

This film is really slow. Supposed to be scary, bugs bunny is scarier. Acting is terrible, there doesn't really seem to be a plot. Guessthe were trying to cash in on the Annebelle phenomenon. This has to be in the top 5 of the worst movies I've ever seen and I've seen some really really bad films. I had to watch to the end to see if it got any better, but believe me it didn't.

Tame

[vengeance20 · 2/10 · 25 August 2015]

I've seen it all before with these types of films. Possessed doll. Grim backstory. Child victim. It's all the same though each is different & unique all the same (depending), but it's the story & action which makes for it. This film, like so many others with the possessed doll horror genre just didn't cut it even in the slightest.

The film is about a struggling family who fire a house keeper whose health is deteriorating & effecting her job. She then leaves the family's son a doll called Robert, who (surprise surprise!) is an ugly evil looking son of a b!tch that Chucky & Annabelle gave birth too! The doll (just like any other horror film of this kind) goes about doing bad things/kills people & the parents either accuse their son who denies the events he isn't responsible for, or either are dumb/naive & have f**k knows idea what to do!

The biggest problem with this film is that there was too much story line & not enough action sequences like killing or seeing the doll in action which we saw VERY little of! What was the secret? We knew the doll was possessed, alive & an evil killing machine! Honestly! I also felt that the slow pacing combined with substantial amount of story- line didn't help matters. I mean, some parts of the film were completely boring & depressing to watch! Not to mention some scenes were quite awkward too.

The lack of blood/violence, the watery/unlikable characters & the sheer isolation made this film very boring too. The only bit of blood we got was the splatter of blood when the father gets bludgeoned with the wooden bat (which being honest was weak) & the end sequence which was 'so so' & didn't do much for me.

Realistically, that's all you got & like I said, not seeing "Robert" in motion was very scarce & limited! I also felt the entire film focused way to much on the boring things like story-line/pacing! It seemed like the good bits of this were very little to limited & didn't even deliver in a way it should've done. The kills were pathetic & lame too! They could've made them way more bloody, gory & violent considering this doll was evil!

The ending wasn't the greatest. The twist also wasn't satisfying even in the slightest! It was just a crappy way to end a film basically! Take it from me!

I overall didn't like this film. It was slow, boring & lacked action/violence/gore to even out the story-line segments which I felt were focused on way too much! 2/10

What a masterpiece; Robert is my icon

[vodcore · 10/10 · 18 June 2022]

I came across this movie while I was looking on Netflix, and the sheer quality looked so good I knew I needed to check it out. Absolutely no regrets, this is my new favourite film. The whiny mum is a brilliant actress (I don't know why she didn't win an Oscar) I was so hyped by this intriguing storyline (a woman has a bad marriage and always complains) that seeing Robert was awe-inspiring. Robert is a girl boss, little more has to be said about his ravishing appearance and little quirks. The way he moves always brings "hips don't lie" by Shakira into my head; the fluid, realistic movement puts any other creepy doll movie to shame. Im a fifty year old man, this movie gave me nightmares for weeks. The camera skills a brilliant, the highlights were of course the random zoom ins of robert''s gorgeous face and the drunklike swaying that really gives a perception of the struggles of being short. The storyline was so original, all tied together by the terrifying way Robert kills his victims. I would recommend this movie to anyone who loves horror and Robert, or random men who are often depicted coming out the toilet or going into the bath. If I could give it 11 stars, I would, because Robert deserves every single star, no film has been able to reach the scariness of Robert. A must see, very deserving of the amazing sequels, the people around me were overjoyed to discover there were 4 more Robert films. Your life is not complete without this film.

Better than the rating

[indie-55193 · 7/10 · 19 July 2019]

First, the low ratings for this film are very unfair, this one is a low budget and it is the first in the franchise so you must expect few goofs here and there! I don't know why people rate and review indie film with the mentality of a blockbuster ?! It's unfair on every aspect.

The acting was good although I believe the kid role should've went for a bit younger kid, I really liked the movie and I don't believe it was slow at all like someone said yet it had some drama which I find OK since they wanted to give it based on actual events feeling, regardless of few ideas that I had while watching for a well established scares here and there but the movie was better than most low budget movies from every angle! if you expect a "slash and dash" from the beginning to the end then go for an 80s movie, This movie was over all well based, well balanced and had some cool thrilling moments.

Jesse Reviews.

But mom...

[Krackoon · 1/10 · 1 September 2015]

Robert did it!

Not since 'Childs Play' has a doll been this mischievous, this terrifying, and, Holy hell - this damn UGLY. Okay, so the film is anything but terrifying. It's pretty bad, actually. There's been so many bad haunted doll films throughout the years, including the more recent 'Annabelle,' we can only hope this won't become another trend in the horror genre. The story is simple, and completely ridiculous, since it's supposed to be based on actual events. It's basically a cheaply made 'Childs Play' crossed with 'Pinocchio's Revenge' mixed with a little 'Dolly Dearest.' You can clearly see the influence these films had on Andrew Jones. It's nice to be influenced by your favorite films, but to miss the mark this badly? You have to do better than that. As for 'Robert' - I'm not sure what the real doll looks like, but the 'Robert' in this film looks like a ventriloquist dummy with down syndrome. It's more hilarious than frightening.

The film, the story, the doll - they're all ridiculous, and poorly done. This film makes ''Annabelle'' look like the best horror film in the last ten years - and I assure you that is not the case at all.

Random Ramblings of a Madman: 'Chucky' from the original 'Childs Play' film was frightening - and that's not something you can easily accomplish when it comes to killer doll horror. Even more unlikely, you can turn a story like that into a good film - Tom Holland accomplished both, but it's time for the rest of you writer/directors to put the toys away, and move on to something more sinister. Because Tom Holland, you are not.

Torpid rip off/Watchable comedy

[zachp-09610 · 1/10 · 1 May 2016]

This movie makes "Chucky" look like "Lawrence of Arabia." Definitely choose something else. You could actually make a drinking game out of spotting plot holes and continuity problems. It feels like a feature length student project. Also, why does the boy's bedroom seem as though it is inside the hall closet?

My 12 year old daughter tore this one to shreds, and although we will never get the 2 hours back after watching this bore-fest, it was fun picking it apart. She spotted a camera operator in one of the mirrors in one scene. We got a few good laughs out of it. Actually, the end of the second act is hilarious.

On second thought, if you look at this as a comedy, it bumps it up t about a 6.5/7 point movie. So, it's all subjective. Enjoy!

Doll looked familiar

[zombyeh · 2/10 · 26 August 2019]

I dont know if it was just me or did the Robert doll sort of look like Willem Dafoe? Great movie to watch on a 2X or 4X speed it makes the show more entertaining.

It could have been better

[Horror_King_88 · 1/10 · 27 August 2015]

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The beginning of the film the Lady and her husband hear voices and strange things in their house and they think that the house inhabited by evil spirits but the maid tells them that the evil spirit living inside the doll and not home then started the movie

the movie is slow

bad representation

I did not feel the thrill

there was little horror

my review is 1 of 10

Really really poor

[epiceffectss · 1/10 · 28 August 2015]

OK , so we have a doll that's haunted , aka Annabelle . It's an English version , for Christ's sake the producers got a cameraman , a set , a script .... Er but who the hell did the casting ? Z list actors , so wooden they gave the lifeless wooden doll a run for its money. The cast are ultimately what make this film dire, it's so bad. Sure the films been done before , but had they got decent actors it could have been OK. The film is basically a doll comes into people's home and torments them , app Chucky was based on this doll. I'm giving this film a really low score because its unwatchable for me , and hey I can enjoy some rubbish but not stuff this badly acted. I've reviewed some great recent horror and click my name to see reviews to see some great films as I don't want you wasting your time on this , if you haven't seen Annabelle which is about a haunted doll then watch that as its fantastic film , will give you chills , this just makes you laugh at the bad acting then later just fast forward from sheer boredom.

Waste of money

[danwarner-66706 · 2/10 · 26 August 2015]

I brought this film yesterday as it was released in the UK to buy yesterday, wasn't expecting much but on the front cover says before Chucky and Annabelle there was Robert, and also states it was based on a true story, the film is about a couple with a boy, and the story starts out by the woman of the household fires an old lady who is the house keeper the old lady then gives a doll to the little boy on her departure, and things escalate from there, I was absolutely disgusted by this film the acting is wooden and disgraceful the only reason I gave this two stars was for the doll itself looked scary and promising, but for the film itself do not waste your money like I did, it was so boring I nearly fell asleep to compare this with classics like child's play is beyond belief, bare in mind child's play is from the 80s it will not be beaten, it just annoys me why film makers these days can't learn from the oldies and make a decent film, this film had so much promise but as usual we get left disappointed again.

Sad, but true, it's not a good movie.

[jhereklazo · 1/10 · 26 September 2015]

Yes, it is sad, but true. Acting was awful, the doll was a better actor than the cast. There were too much moments of uncomfortably silence, when an actor ended a line, the camera still showing actor's expression for a couple of seconds, a waste of time. The idea was good, but the movie was sadly bad. The ending is not bad at all, but this is one of these movies that you must watch alone in your room because you don't want to bore your friends.

The original history could be better exploited.

Best wishes and, though it was bad for me, thank you for the movie, it is a work and there is time from everyone on it.

Terrible yes, but also enjoyable too

[eventlaunch · 5/10 · 5 July 2019]

This is really bad and yet very alluring, sure, acting is just terrible and the doll literally does nothing yet something just keeps you wanting to know what's going to happen in the end which by the way is worse than the movie

soooooo good i love robert this was so awesome and I really like it and I am so glad you liked it and I hope you enjoy it too and you have a great day

[birthebonthuis · 10/10 · 8 July 2022]

Rober be like:............. man i am a doll! Very good drawings too. Gene seems like a very smart kid. Marcy deserve to die. Paul.... such a dad! I koved this movie, you too.

psychological

[kellyfeiffer · 7/10 · 8 December 2015]

Obviously an effort to make a British Chucky but a lot better than it had any right to be. I think this story did a better job than the original Chucky to make it questionable whether or not the doll is really alive or whether the whole thing is the mother's psychotic imagination. If you can get into that part of the film then it's an enjoyable enough psychological thriller. The lead character of the mother comes off as unhinged sometimes and if you think about it the whole film could easily have been her fantasy. But people are probably more interested in seeing the doll in action. A higher body count would have won it more fans.

Embarrasingly bad...

[pokemon_trainer_lucas · 1/10 · 25 June 2019]

The first thing to note is the acting. Honestly, it was so terrible that I could barely concentrate on what was going on in the film. I was genuinely repulsed by how pathetic it was.

Second of all, the doll that Robert is based on looks absolutely nothing like this one. As it is based on a true story, you would at least expect them to know what the doll looks like! It was like looking at a doll from a different story entirely.

But, the most important thing to note is just how lame the horror is. It's never good when you watch a horror movie and spend the whole time laughing at how terrible it is. The death scenes look like something out of a comedy in which the acting is deliberately bad for effect.

I spent £3 on this DVD from ASDA, and it was such a waste of money even at this small price! Please, don't waste your time watching this poor excuse for a movie.

Easily makes the bottom list

[bomenorange · 1/10 · 2 June 2016]

I gave this movie one star just for trying their best and made a 90min clip. First lets just talk about the weird looking doll, a 6 year old kid can make a better stuffed doll than this one, it's lame and not scary at all, well maybe just the face. Anyway i waited very much to see it move or try something scary but it barely moved during the entire movie, it was just sitting on the chair most of the movie.

And of course you can't but notice the amateur acting and the boring side story of the family and the unnecessary events.

To sum it all they had a good story elements for a good horror movie (a scary isolated house, hunted doll, and the old house maid witch).

The Original Doll Was Creepier

[sharonsailerandrews · 1/10 · 1 February 2018]

Where is his sailor suit? Where is the little bug-eyed dog that the real Robert holds in his arms, a dog whose expression seems to scream for release? This doll looks like a plasticine meat loaf that got run over by a couple of semis. Part of the creepiness of the original doll is that it manages to combine age and innocence, including a pock-marked face that makes you think this child's toy might have had some congress with syphilitic prostitutes in foreign ports of call. Neither of the parents in the movie has the least appeal; they are defensive, emotionally constipated, whiny idiots who should never have been allowed to breed in the first place. Twenty-five minutes into the plot, you find yourself wondering where this thing called a plot is. It doesn't get any better. This sucker is turgid; it moves at the pace of a 15-part BBC adaptation of a long-forgotten British novel about people who have nothing much to do with their time. I wound up hoping Robert would kill all of them just to rescue us from the tedium.