- USDA Leader: Okay, listen up! We have the obligation to make this thing right and tell people what is and what isn't safe to eat. We are the USDA! Without us people would be eating dirt and chairs!
- Radio Host: Now, this party is also for a good cause, because it's to honor a little boy with diabetes, Scott Malcomson. Is that correct?
- Eric Cartman: Yeah, you know, diabetes affects us all, but it mostly affects Scott Malcomson.
- Randy Marsh: I'm okay! You wanna see my dick?
- Mark: I was in a restaurant and ordered the gluten-free quinoa salad and the guy right next to me was eating a sandwich. It's like, "Get your second-hand gluten away from me!"
- Wendy Testaburger: Is that why you told Clyde that you broke up with me? Because you're about to be "dripping in bitches"?
- Eric Cartman: Kyle! It's all gone! They've taken it all! Why are they doing this? Kyle! Kyle!
- Kyle Broflovski: Dude, calm down.
- Eric Cartman: There's no snacks left, Kyle!