- Leonard Hofstadter: [they've just found the gate to Skywalker Ranch] You want to get a picture?
- Sheldon Cooper: I want more than a picture. I want to go in.
- Leonard Hofstadter: So do I, but they'll never let us.
- Sheldon Cooper: Is that the attitude that helped you get Penny?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No, but I don't have three years to make that gate feel sorry for me.
- Penny: Bernadette, for every episode of Doctor Who Leonard had made me sit through, I will play on your behalf and send that TARDIS back to Galliffrey, where I hate that I know it belongs.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Ooh, you just chose champions. It's like we're re-enacting the ancient German practice of trial by combat.
- Penny: It's also like when the Mountain fought the Red Viper in Game of Thrones.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Leonard makes you watch that, too?
- Penny: No, I like that show. It's got dragons and people doing it.
- Sheldon Cooper: Play that funky music, white boy!
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'm surprised you know that reference.
- Sheldon Cooper: What reference?
- Sheldon Cooper: I can see the ranch, Leonard! Oh, it's rustic, it's lovely! I'd take a picture, but people are chasing me! I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna make it! They have tasers, but they wouldn't dare use... AAAAH!
- Sheldon Cooper: So, what are you in for?
- Mitchell: Honestly, I just wanted to meet Mr. Lucas and say thank you. You know, growing up the movies made a huge impact on my life. I never really fit in anywhere, until I discovered the worlds he had created, and I finally found a place where I belong.
- Sheldon Cooper: But, why are you here?
- Mitchell: Oh, I hopped a fence and they caught me in the sculpture gallery making out with the Chewbacca statue.
- Sheldon Cooper: Excuse me.
- [Gets up and sits next to Leonard]
- Sheldon Cooper: Leonard... they have a sculpture gallery!
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: All right, if you can switch champions, so can I. Raj, you're up!
- Penny: No fair! I thought I was your champion!
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Oh, you don't even care!
- Penny: Hey, I care... Wait, no I don't. Good luck, Raj.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: You know, Amy, I was wondering how Sheldon would react if you had a TARDIS in your place.
- Howard Wolowitz: Don't listen to her, just hit the ball!
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Keep talking.
- [Cut to Amy's apartment, where the TARDIS is installed in her bedroom door]
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: If this doesn't get him into your bedroom, nothing will!
- Howard Wolowitz: Come on, Raj! You are the King Kong of ping pong! You are the menace of table tennis! Put her away, because I don't have a third one!
- Sheldon Cooper: [Opening lines] Leonard, I've been working on an opening joke for our lecture at Berkeley.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I like to laugh, but say it anyway.
- Sheldon Cooper: Okay. What do you say to a graduate of the UC Berkeley Physics Department? I'll have fries with that. Because his education hasn't prepared him for a career in the sciences.
- Penny: You know, when they chase you out of there, you only have to run faster than Sheldon.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Can I be in charge of pricing? I've been going to garage sales my whole life. Can you believe I got these pantyhose for a nickel?
- Howard Wolowitz: All right, Amy's in charge of pricing and being seventy-five.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: No fair. You've had that table your whole life.
- Howard Wolowitz: Not really. I mostly used it as a battlefield where the Transformers and the Thundercats fought an ongoing war over control of a bra I found in the woods.
- Howard Wolowitz: Excuse me. Why is there a sticker on this? It's my TARDIS, from Doctor Who. I was planning on moving it in the house.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I think you just answered your own question.
- Howard Wolowitz: Come on, one day this may double in value. It'd be worth half what I paid for it!
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it!
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'm about to lose control, and I think I like it!
- Sheldon Cooper: What are you talking about?
- Leonard Hofstadter: I don't think George Lucas built his headquarters in the middle of nowhere because he wanted people dropping in.
- Sheldon Cooper: Yoda's swamp was in the middle of nowhere. Tatooine was in the middle of nowhere. Hoth was in the middle of nowhere. That's code, Leonard. He wants us to drop in.