The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Anxiety Optimization (2015)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : OK, we're headed out. See you later.

  Sheldon Cooper : I know. Before you leave, can you help me test these noise cancelling headphones?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, sure.

  Sheldon Cooper : [Sheldon puts on headphones]  Go ahead.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Hello, can you hear me?

  [Sheldon doesn't react] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, I haven't changed the filter in the water pitcher in two years.

  Penny : Uh, Bernadette's nickname for you is the Virgin Pina Colada.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Your George Lucas autograph is really a me autograph.

  Penny : Yeah, well, once I was too lazy to walk across the hall so I used your toothbrush.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Ooh, and at one time when you were asleep Amy totally took off her-

  [Sheldon takes off headphones] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : And that's why you're the best roommate ever.

  Sheldon Cooper : Aaaaw. Now I'm sad I didn't hear it.

• Penny : So, whichever rep has the best sales for the quarter gets a trip for two to Hawaii.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : That would be so romantic for you and Leonard.

  Penny : Yeah, clearly you haven't seen him on the beach, walking around with his metal detector.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : If I were going to Hawaii, I'd spend all my time at the Keck Observatory. Did you know that the telescopes there have better resolution than the Hubble?

  Penny : Really?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : [Amy nods] 

  Penny : [to Bernadette]  Wanna go to Hawaii?

• Penny : Have fun.

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, I will. Nothing more fun than a paradigm-shifting evening of science.

  Penny : [to Leonard]  And you thought it was soaping me up in the shower.

• Raj Koothrappali : Where's Sheldon?

  Penny : Date night.

  Leonard Hofstadter : That can't be much fun for Amy. You know, at work today he tried his first Red Bull?

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : What happened?

  Leonard Hofstadter : He chased a squirrel around the quad for a while... and then threw up in my car.

• Penny : What exactly do you think goes on here?

  Sheldon Cooper : Conversations you wouldn't be comfortable having in front of the opposite sex, who has the best cervix? Which sanitary napkin is all the rage, men's buttocks and how you want to pad and squeeze them

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : We were talking about Penny's job

  Sheldon Cooper : And how difficult is to do when she's bloated cranky and crampy, continue

  Penny : We are just people, we talk about the same things you guys talk about

  Sheldon Cooper : You talk about if werewolves can swim? Leonard says yes, I say it depends on if the human could swim before he was bitten

  Penny : Let's just talk about our periods

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Hold on, all cannines can swim, why would werewolves be any different?

  Bernadette Rostenkowski : They're not a hundred per cent werewolf, they're part human, it's like comparing apples to oranges

  Sheldon Cooper : Thank you although in this case it'd be like comparing apples to were oranges who only turned on a full moon