- Lorna Morello: My Nonno used to say "Oh, Lorna, I want to squeeze you til the cherry juice runs out!"
- Vince Muccio: That's... fucking creepy.
- Lorna Morello: [laughs] ... He was.
- Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: That bitch gotta be scurred right now.
- Yoga Jones: What was that?
- Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: Scurred.
- Sister Jane Ingalls: Oh, "scared"?
- Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson: That's what I just... man, never mind.
- Weeping Woman: [shouting] I'm going to kill myself... if i have to keep eating this food!
- Angie Rice: [shouting] I've had the same itch for three months straight!
- Jeanie 'Babs' Babson: [shouting] I hate papaya!
- Gina Murphy: [shouting] I'm tired of being a burn victim!
- Poussey Washington: Why the fuck is we screaming?
- Leanne Taylor: Just say the first thing that comes to mind. It'll feel good to get out your frustrations.
- Poussey Washington: [shouting] This is stupid!
- Leanne Taylor: Well, I'd like that to be a little more group-positive, but... okay.
- Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: [reading Kukudio's poem] "If you need to research the activities, I'd be happy to join you, as I have homo proclivities."
- Gloria Mendoza: I miss him! I miss all of them!
- Aleida Diaz: You want some of mine?
- Gloria Mendoza: You are so stupid.
- Marisol 'Flaca' Gonzales: You're making my ass so happy right now. Those saggy prison panties have been depressing my cheeks. Like, I think they've been drooping from sadness.
- Maritza Ramos: Yeah, me too. I gotta turn around my booty frown.
- Big Boo: I still maintain you'd make a good dyke. Come on, diving into all that facial hair... no different than pussy.
- Nathan: Do you want to hang out some time? See a movie or something?
- Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett: What do I gotta do?
- Nathan: Uh... be my date?
- George 'Pornstache' Mendez: Mommy, she hasn't written me back. I write her every day, to tell her how much I love her. I write lists of names for the baby, compose short stories about the future of our relationship, remind her of other star-crossed lovers throughout history who have overcome great obstacles to be together: Romeo and Juliet, Lolita and the old guy, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins.
- Delia Powell: Honey, none of those couples ended up together.
- Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: You are a real slut.
- Lorna Morello: Suzanne! That is not nice.
- Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: But you seem so experienced.
- Lorna Morello: Well, yes... I guess. I suppose I... in a way I... but you... it is not nice to call somebody a slut.
- Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren: Then why do girls like it when men call them sluts during sex? Or bitches? Or dirty whores who love cum?
- Lorna Morello: Oh dear. Well, that is a complicated question.
- Marisol 'Flaca' Gonzales: I feel like I've got a secret, you know? Like we're a part of this secret club that no one knows about. I feel cool.
- Maritza Ramos: Oh my god, you just said that, and my nipples got, like, super-hard.
- Gustav: Your skin looks like it will be very soft. Like a peach. Or a baby pig's belly! I aspire to put my hands on it.