- Charlie Kelly: We can't talk about snakes or smells, what else is there?
- Mac: Uh, can you put Jews in the "yes" column? I feel like we gotta get it out in the open.
- Ryan: What d'ya got here? What's in the box?
- Dee Reynolds: No, that's just a... it's a cock ring. It's a cock ring just from all my lovers...
- Ryan: Oh. It's kinda small, huh?
- Dee Reynolds: Well, it's my dad's.
- Dennis Reynolds: This is a promise ring. So from now on, Waitress, I promise to be nice and true.
- Waitress: I have a name.
- Dennis Reynolds: [getting Mac to switch seats] You're gonna switch places with Becky, right, because while I don't particularly find you conventionally attractive, I do find you oddly sexy.
- Becky: Huh, excuse me?
- Dennis Reynolds: That was a compliment.