- Sue Heck: Then what stuff? What else do you think I would do?
- [it dawns on her]
- Sue Heck: Oh! Oh, my God! Dad! Do you even know me at all? No, that's not happening. I am not ready for that.
- Mike Heck: Oh, okay. Well, good, then.
- Sue Heck: Oh, and, by the way, when it does eventually happen, it is not going to be in a basement. It's going to be in front of a beautiful roaring fire and a Christmas tree.
- Mike Heck: Ah... I don't need the details.
- Frankie Heck: Stolen, Mike, my car was stolen. Why would someone steal our crappy car?
- Mike Heck: Probably for parts. 'Cause nobody would want that thing as a whole.
- Frankie Heck: Okay, guys, hit the couch. I am calling a family meeting.
- Axl Heck: What am I even doing here? I'm barely even a part of this family.
- Frankie Heck: Um, I have an empty fridge and a clogged toilet that says otherwise.
- Sue Heck: So we're not allowed to talk to you at all unless it's between 5:00 and 6:00?
- Frankie Heck: Well, that would probably be more of a phase two thing, but I like the way you're thinking.
- Brick Heck: I inadvertently chewed a girl's hair, so you might be getting a call from my teacher about that.