Hot in Cleveland (TV Series)

Undercover Lovers (2014)

David Foley: Bob

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Joy Scroggs : [Bob and Joy kiss passionately]  Did they see us?

  Bob : Yes, lover.

  Joy Scroggs : They can't hear us; you don't need to call me lover.

  Bob : It's called undercover work, Joy. We're chasing identity thieves here, crafty and suspicious; if we want to get close to them we have to convince them we're just an ordinary couple.

  Joy Scroggs : Got it.

  Bob : But we mustn't get too attached, you and I. That will only lead to heartbreak. Your heartbreak.

• Bob : We're on our honeymoon.

  Julie : At the Pines Motel?

  Bob : The original plan was Disney, but I went over budget buying my wife; you see, she's a Russian mail-order bride.

• Bob : I'll meet you at the motel. But just so you know, John Johnson sleeps in the nude.

  Joy Scroggs : And just so *you* know, Natasha Johnson sleeps with scissors.

  Bob : Pajamas it is, then.

• Bob : Your feet are telling me that you're a lonely woman.

  Julie : Oh? What are my breasts telling you?

  Bob : That it's a little chilly in here.

• Bob : Oh God, joy!

  Joy Scroggs : What?

  Bob : No, not you; my Canadian girlfriend Joy.

  Joy Scroggs : You really have a Canadian girlfriend?

  Bob : Yes!

  [speeddials cellphone] 

  Bob : Hi. Joy, this is Bob. I-I've made a terrible mistake. Look. I'm jumping on the next flight and then the connecting flight and then the puddle-jumper and then the snowmobile and... then I'll be at your door. Yes. I'll, I'll see you in two weeks.

• [last lines] 

  Victoria Chase : Look at this turnout. You know, Elka's only a few signatures away from getting on the ballot. And her dog park twitter account is trending.

  Elka Ostrovsky : [laughing]  At Elka stop less parks.

  Melanie Moretti : [looks at @elkastoplessparks banner]  You know, when you look at that, it looks like Elka's topless parks.

  Elka Ostrovsky : [innocently]  Does it?

  Bob : Well, Joy, I've got a plane to catch.

  Joy Scroggs : Bob's selling the agency and moving back to Canada.

  Bob : I made the new owner promise to keep Joy on. He seems like a good guy.

  Joy Scroggs : Good guy, huh?

  Bob : Yup. I guess when you look like him, you kind of have to be.

  [shows joy a picture of a handsome man] 

  Joy Scroggs : I can work with that.

  Bob : That's the spirit, Joy. Looks aren't everything.