Hot in Cleveland (TV Series)

The Undead (2014)

Wendie Malick: Victoria Chase

Quotes 

• Joy Scroggs : *He* wants to be the little spoon?

  Melanie Moretti : Yes. Which makes me the big spoon!

  Victoria Chase : That's crazy!

  Melanie Moretti : I know!

  Elka Ostrovsky : No woman should be the jet pack.

  Victoria Chase : Well, was the sex worth it?

  Melanie Moretti : He did a couple of things; two that were good, one not so good. It's rare to find a man that's good at that, let's face it.

• Victoria Chase : Now, I just have to stage my funeral.

  Elka Ostrovsky : I'll take care of that.

  Victoria Chase : Have you ever planned a funeral before?

  Elka Ostrovsky : I've been planning three of 'em since you moved in.

• Joy Scroggs : I can't imagine what it's going to be like living here without you.

  Victoria Chase : I know. I've been the sun that you three revolve around. But still, I know; it's hard to say good-bye.

  Elka Ostrovsky : You're making it easier.

• Susan Lucci : [entering the funeral]  May I say something, please?

  Victoria Chase : [snarls]  Lucci!

  Susan Lucci : Thank you so much. And thank you, Victoria, for so many, many, many years of work, rising before dawn to put on all that makeup in a brave but futile attempt to hide the ravages of time. And now, picturing her in a coffin reminds me of those performances: stiff and lifeless; held together with chemicals and glue. Something best buried and forgotten. Oh, Victoria, I promised myself I wouldn't cry... and I've kept that promise. Thank you.

  [she picks up Victoria's Emmy statuette. Victoria gasps] 

  Susan Lucci : What? We all know I deserved to win that year.

  [leaves with the Emmy]