- Leonard Hofstadter: Penny, we are made of particles that existed since the moment the universe began. I like to think those atoms travelled 14 billion years through time and space to create us so that we could be together and make each other whole.
- Sheldon Cooper: Some important new information has come to light. Women are the worst. I thought it was paper cuts, but I was wrong. No piece of paper ever cut me this deep.
- Mary Cooper: Don't send it back yet. Your sister's married and I'm not letting your brother give my grandmother's ring to that whore he's dating.
- Sheldon Cooper: Wasn't Mary Magdelene a woman of ill repute?
- Mary Cooper: When your idiot brother redeems mankind he can date whoever he wants.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Aw, that was beautiful.
- Howard Wolowitz: Yeah, I mean not like our wedding, beautiful.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: No, we totally won.
- Sheldon Cooper: You know what, Amy? I don't understand. Are we broken up or not? It's like you can't make up your mind.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: It's because you're not giving me any space to think.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, you should think fast because men can sire offspring their entire lives, but those eggs you're toting around have a sell-by date.
- Penny: So what package were you thinking?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Well this one comes with music and flowers. Oh, and they even stream the whole thing live on the internet.
- Penny: Why would we want that?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Cause there's a lot of gorgeous blondes out there who don't believe they can land a short, near-sighted scientist? Let's give them hope.
- Penny: Whatever. Put us on the internet. I've always wanted a wedding with a comments section.
- Mary Cooper: You want to tell me what happened?
- Sheldon Cooper: Are you going to say it's all part of God's plan?
- Mary Cooper: Good chance.
- Sheldon Cooper: Then, no thank you.