Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?! (2014) User Reviews

A mess

[r96sk · 3/10 · 12 December 2020]

As if the title doesn't already give it away, but this is a terrible film.

What a mess. 'Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?!' is like two different films in one, with the first half being overly comedic and the second portion being overly dramatic - it doesn't mesh well at all.

The drama towards the end could work on its own, but in this setting it simply doesn't fit - it actually comes across that they think they're creating a masterpiece as it all unfolds. Very odd choice to go that way.

Marc Wootton is fairly toned-down in this second sequel, which leaves it feeling flat throughout. Martin Clunes is a new addition, they pretty much make his character a mute so Clunes doesn't even get to show off his acting prowess. The roles, meanwhile, for Catherine Tate and Adam Garcia are kinda pointless.

The musical numbers are very lame, especially lyrically. I'm not suggesting they are great in any of the films, but these ones particularly stood out as being poor. The end performance is painful.

What a fall from the first film, and even the second. Yet, there is still a fourth installment to watch...

A Silly and Childish Sequel.

[antkav85 · 5/10 · 7 December 2014]

This second sequel in this so-called British-based series of Christmas films focuses on St. Bernadettes School in Coventry in England as the school children assisted by their favourite assistant Mr. Desmond Poppy (Marc Wootton) have lost their donkey Archie while they are having plans to try to win a Flash Mob competition to win a trip to New York City and they are having their hands full to try to help their new teacher Jeremy Shepherd (Martin Clunes) who was struck with amnesia as he is getting ready to marry his fiancée in the Big Apple. This sequel is pretty much what you come to expect like the first two films were which is filled with slapstick humour and hammy acting but this time it ends up being one of those low-common-denominator efforts that hits the bottom of the barrel with a poorly written script that gives the film no sense at all, but despite the best efforts of some good talent among the cast such as Clunes, Wootton and the child actors, most of the performances are rather unconvincing, the songs are tuneless and even the slapstick moments in which one which involves some donkey droppings were not even remotely funny and some jokes are tired although I did find one Smurf-related joke that made me chuckle but that's about it. Don't waste your time and money on this film as it would be better suited being screened on TV or on DVD because at least the quality of the film alone might seem cut out for it.

chav fest

[joeyhenno · 5/10 · 15 December 2020]

We wanted to see a funny navity movie thats the only reson we are here not to see this substanded chav fest ! first 15 mins are good but the film is runied by the plot with the memory loss and wedding instead off a advnter movie which it should off and could off been . and not enough mr shakesper ! still some laughs tho

Cinematic equivalent of Ebola

[taffwob · 1/10 · 3 January 2018]

I had to sit through this dreck as I was staying at someone's house & they were sat in front of it like a potted plant. Not moving, not showing any visible signs of sentience but still watching it.

At one point she spoke up, "I think this is made for children."

At this point I lost my composure. "Made for children? It's made BY children and I hope they're ****ing orphans."

Probably the worst movie I have ever seen

[edjones-02306 · 1/10 · 11 August 2017]

Absolutely terrible. Makes the original Nativity look like Citizen Cane. None of the characters are likable, the story makes absolutely zero sense and is, put simply, not entertaining. Do not subject yourself or your family to this abomination, and do not support the lazy cash grab that is this movie.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was more of a comedy

[anwenhayward · 2/10 · 10 March 2015]

This film is the haunting tale of a man who receives a traumatic brain injury and develops severe amnesia, losing his entire identity and becoming a hollow man, with nothing but a name to himself. Watch as a formerly intelligent, articulate man is reduced to babbling and bumbling around, becoming a grotesque parody of the jester figure; coerced into parading around in funny outfits, much to the amusement of his tormentors, unable to recognise what, exactly, is so funny as he struggles to remember the name of his own daughter or how to connect with his family and the woman he loves. With his mental faculties reduced, his ability to relate to his fellow man diminished, and his sense of self completely erased, the man is kidnapped by a learning disabled teaching assistant and must rely on the assistance of a group of neglected, displaced children to teach him about his own past and, perhaps, the true meaning of Christmas.

But hey, there are some pretty nifty fart jokes.

Please... stop

[voodoochild-jr · 1/10 · 28 November 2020]

For the love of God please stop making these films. The first was good, the 2nd was watchable, this is just plain awful. Flash mob after god awful flash mob. There's no rhyme or reason to anything, any sense of realism goes out the window.

This is a seriously bad film!

[San152 · 1/10 · 2 January 2015]

I enjoyed the first Nativity film and the second was tolerable, but this film goes off the chart of dross! Absolutely the worst film I have ever seen. I am a fan of Martin Clunes, Catherine Tate and Celia Imrie but how they could attach themselves to this film is beyond me. How did it get green lit? How did it get a budget? Why didn't someone say, 'This is a truly dreadful movie, please don't inflict it upon cinema goers?' The script is excruciatingly bad and makes no sense whatsoever - even given that it is (supposedly) a comedy and the boundaries of normal suspension of disbelief can be pushed a little further.

****SPOLIER**** Unlike the two previous Nativity films random and ever changing numbers of children keep breaking into poorly choreographed song and dance numbers. The prospect of an Ofsted inspection is introduced but does not form any part of the story, there are some truly awful and cringeworthy cardboard cut-out characterisations and what can I say about the donkey...? It's called 'Dude, where's my donkey?' But after using the donkey as a device to make Martin Clunes lose his memory, and bringing it back at the end to dance at the top of the Empire State building, no one is looking for the donkey. And as for the way Martin Clunes gets his memory back... seriously? Believe? I absolutely didn't. ****SPOLIER ENDS****

Please save your money, save your sanity, save yourselves! Don't bother...

Really Bad

[teamkinguk · 2/10 · 8 March 2016]

After loving the first movie in this series, then enjoying (to a lesser extent) the second movie, I expected this one to be in the same vein. Unfortunately, it is bad. Really bad. Instead of England and school children, we are subjected to Clunes and Tate. In America. Hollywoodised. And not funny enough to carry this movie. Yawn. Mr Poppy tries to pull this movie up, but just doesn't get there with the combination of US and UK humor.

This series has so much potential. Bring back the original school, Pam Ferris, and keep it in England with a fun semi-realistic storyline. Hopefully this dud hasn't ruined a future.

Crime against humanity

[ian-adamson · 1/10 · 8 December 2014]

Went in without knowing anything about previous two films or seeing reviews.

Came out scarred for life, don't understand how such a truly awful film can get distributed. By a long way the worst "film" i've ever seen.

Hiding underneath jacket didn't work, trying to fall asleep didn't work.

Like a two hour episode of Gigglebiz without the jokes and budget.

I can't say it enough but truly awful, if this is a "British" film then I don't want to be British anymore.

No redeeming features whatsoever, no jokes, a few donkey farts and that's about it.

I can't stop people from going, but don't say I didn't warn you!

Completely mad.....loved it a lot

[Figgy66-915-598470 · 10/10 · 26 November 2014]

26 November 2015 Fiona's First Film of Choice at The Plaza Tonight - Nativity 3: Dude Where's My Donkey?! Mr Poppy is Back!!!!! Fans of the Nativity films will not be disappointed. If you are expecting sanity and a nice Christmas film the. This film is not for you. It is insanity at it's very best and Martin Clunes has fit right in. Centred around a flash mob competition and a little girl's wish to get a new Mum for Christmas this third instalment takes us to New York where children run amok and Mr Poppy gets away with absolutely everything. It is so completely ridiculous that it completely works and has set me well on my way to Feeling that Christmas spirit.

A warm hearted Christmas comedy

[chrismilner698 · 7/10 · 17 November 2014]

I went into this with high expectations after seeing the first two, and had no idea who the cast were (I expected the regular cast, David Tennant etc), and was surprised to see Martin Clunes (who plays the perfect dumb guy), and Catherine Tate who is always good in whatever role she decides to play.

For a Christmas movie, it's okay. The cinema was jam packed as it was opening weekend. I wasn't disappointed, nor was I pleased. There are some laughs and this is more a 'go and see it with your family' movie.

It wasn't as funny as the first two, but I came out with a bright smile on my face.

The film is an ass

[Prismark10 · 2/10 · 9 December 2017]

Nativity 3 very much scrapes the bottom of the yuletide barrel. Martin Clunes is the new teacher Jeremy Shepherd who along with his daughter Lauren is looking forward to getting married to his fiancée Sophie (Catherine Tate) in New York but he is also wary of her ex boyfriend, a famous singer who plans to do an impromptu flash mob for Sophie.

Mr Shepherd has to deal with Mr Poppy (Marc Wootton) the man-child classroom assistant who has recently been sacked by the new temporary head teacher in advance of the school inspection.

Mr Shepherd loses his memory after being kicked in the head by a donkey. Mr Poppy plans to take the school kids to New York by winning a flash mob contest in London and also hopes to get Me Shepherd's memory back so he can marry Sophie.

I think only the very young would like this dull film. School kids randomly start to sing and dance for no reason. The story is thin and grossly stupid. Mr Poppy should be locked up to protect the children and when the story moves to New York he inexplicably starts to behave like an adult.

Dude, I don't give a toss about your donkey...

[tidybrown · 1/10 · 18 November 2014]

OK... Is there a legal precedence for trying to claim back 2 hours of my life..? Does this film count as a case of fraud, cinema is meant to be entertaining and this film certainly is not.

Yes my 8 and 5 year old's laughed at the 'farting' comments and jokes, and Mr Poppy dressed as a snow pig seemed to amuse them too... but all I can assume is that this film was made to try and claw money off the poor unsuspecting British public by desperately trying to hang onto the coat tails of the original film (still).

=====*****SPOILERS*****===== Martin Clunes and Catherine Tate should be ashamed of themselves, Clunes in particular spent most of the film with 'no memory' and as it came across this included the ability to act, Tate is poor at best and to be honest is as sincere in her relationship with Clunes as the Snow Queen. The start of the film we find that the School is going to be inspected by Ofsted the whole build up is about the failings of the school, at the end of the film there is no conclusion... It's as though there are two films badly stuck together...

Mr Poppy will keep the kids amused if only for a few moments, but truth be told it is tired and tedious at best.

Do yourself a favour and DON'T BOTHER seeing this film, it should have gone straight to DVD and stayed there...

The film

Worst Kids film ever???

[richardbuckley-201-998858 · 1/10 · 1 January 2015]

Truly one of the worst children's films I have ever seen in a cinema, so badly put together, edited, scripted and acted etc... Just not fun in any form, would have rather watched paint dry...

My 8 year old son got so bored he kept wanting to leave the cinema, but I persuaded him to stay a continue to watch for a little longer, but he so wanted to leave, so we left around 10-20 minutes before the end.

He gave it 2 stars out of 10 at the most. A complete waste of time and money to go and see. How writers and directors get the money to produce such drivel is beyond me and make people pay to see it. Pity when good children's Christmas TV is produced in the UK from The incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm to Strange Hill High, and Mr Stink.

Not worth finding this donkey

[TheLittleSongbird · 2/10 · 24 December 2017]

As said in my reviews for the previous two 'Nativity!' films, found the first 'Nativity!' film enjoyable for what it was. It was nothing mind-blowing, but achieved what it set out to do well and didn't try to be any more than it was. The same goes with its inferior but not that bad sequel 'Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger'.

This is sadly not true for this sorry second follow up 'Nativity 3: Where's My Donkey?' It is an embarrassment for not just the talented cast involved but also for the viewer. Whatever one's stance on the second film is (which was met with a lot of criticism and defence), it is a masterpiece compared to 'Nativity 3: Where's My Donkey?' The wonderfully natural children and the cheerful soundtrack are the only things that save 'Nativity 3: Where's My Donkey?' from being a bottom of the stocking lump of coal.

Unfortunately the adult cast struggle...badly. Martin Clunes has a character that should have perfect for him and played to his strengths, but he doesn't look that interested and sleepwalks through his roles. Marc Wooton overplays wildly even more than he did in the second film and the film brings the worst out of Catherine Tate, made to be irritating in an on paper tailor made role. Not even a wasted Celia Imrie can save this, and the film was crying out for Pam Ferris.

'Nativity 3: Where's My Donkey's' story has all the ridiculousness and predictability of the second film but is multiplied by a thousand. Sadly, it also suffers from being erratically paced (often dull thanks to a lot of padding and scenes that easily could have been trimmed or left out) and being far too long by at least half an hour.

A weak script is another big problem. The improvisatory nature of it is stilted and clunky, the jokes are juvenile even by younger viewer standards and it does descend into schmaltz. It doesn't have the warmth, charm and heart of the previous two films which means the script and story flaws are far more noticeable.

It looks drab. Didn't mind the un-flashy look of the previous two films, seeing as it didn't call for big-budget quality, but simplicity is taken too far here that it's instead borderline-amateurish.

Overall, weak, very weak. 2/10 Bethany Cox

Painful

[jeremyboucher-885-671542 · 1/10 · 26 November 2014]

Having found the previous two 'Nativity' films reasonably enjoyable, I was extremely disappointed by this overly long, extremely contrived and frankly boring film. It kept my 10 year old's attention but you would hope that Christmas family films like this would be at least tolerable for adults.

The 'flash mob' premise that the film is very shakily built on is also poorly conceived and even more weakly delivered. I would suggest that the film's producers and director did not have the slightest clue what a flash mob is and how ridiculous the conceit of a flash mob competition is. There must be 101 other excuses to have a group of people sing and dance together. I have not a clue why they chose to shoehorn it into that particular 'genre' other than the fact that it is current and must be 'trendy'... meh.

Anyway, to summarise, it was only my annoyance at the misunderstanding and idiocy surrounding flash mobs that served to give me some distraction from the insipid storyline, unconvincingly delivered, by a cast whom you might have expected more from.

Nativity 3: Dude, This Smells of Donkey Dung

[ThreePointFive · 1/10 · 26 December 2018]

The first film with Martin Freeman was thoroughly enjoyable with a fabulous finale. The second film with David Tennant was problematic but had some laughs along the way. This disaster with Martin Clunes (who is one of the many issues) is a complete and utter disaster. There is nothing positive to say about this at all... the concept is terrible, the casting is terrible, the songs are terrible, and the messages it gives to children are equally terrible. THE FILM IS TERRIBLE!!! If you like Christmas... avoid this film. If you haven't seen this film yet... avoid this film. This film is not even a film... it's a nightmare. It would be no exaggeration to say that the best thing to come out of this dungfest comes straight out of Archie's backside. The maddest thing about it is that they've made ANOTHER ONE! Surely when you've sunk this low, it's way past the time to stop. I wish there was a way to award minus scores on here, but even then there might not be a low enough option.

Dude! Wheres The Off Button

[samuel-lewis12 · 2/10 · 23 September 2018]

In this failed attempt of a 2nd sequel to Nativity, its clear the production company are trying their best to scrape all the money they can out of the consumers pocket. The film is a mockery of the first film which was funny and entertaining, the second wasn't as good, but still watchable and in parts entertaining. This film though seem more like a musical than the first two films, and not a very good one. The film is filled to the brim with bad child acting and a ridiculously unrealistic plot, some of the children were 5 and others looked 20! When they were meant to be in the same class! I would not recommend this film to anyone unless you want to waste your time ranting at the screen.

People got paid to be in this

[stal-13652 · 2/10 · 7 December 2022]

As many people have said long before me, the first Nativity film was most enjoyable and the second film was watchable. This film however is just dreadful. I actually feel slightly less intelligent having watched it.

I can only presume that Martin Clunes agreed to do this film to pay for a new conservatory or something. Or maybe for the grandkids, who knows? He can't possibly have read the script and thought "this is great work and I must audition for the role!". The same can be said for Catherine Tate and the other English actress whose name sounds like a spell from Harry Potter.

Nativity, Dude Where's Those Minutes Of My Life Gone?

Huge smiles and Christmas fun with Mr Poppy!

[carlypi · 10/10 · 20 November 2014]

If you have seen Nativity, and Nativity 2, you won't be going into this follow-up movie expecting anything worthy of an Oscar! But what you will be expecting is a movie full of very lighthearted fun, ridiculously silly jokes, and hugely laughable plot-holes, which is exactly what you will get - but that is what makes the Nativity movies so great!

With a cast of great British actors (and a donkey), just go into this movie with a giant bag of popcorn and a huge sugary drink and just giggle like a child along to the singing, dancing and our lovable Mr Poppy and get yourself into the Christmas spirit! Well worth a watch if you aren't in the mood for anything serious and want to feel festival, and I promise you will be singing "Dude, Where's My Donkey" for several hours after watching!

Pleasantly surprised

[shedzy · 6/10 · 30 November 2014]

Lets get this straight - I went to see this film with 5 kids who are oddly-obsessed with Martin Clunes, and that's the only reason we went to see it. His name - and apparently overly-large ears - became a running joke amongst my 2 eldest boys (4 and 6 yr old boys) because my 14 yr old and 10 yr old nephews saw a sketch mocking his name once on Little Britain. That is the only reason we went to see the film. My boys didn't even know what he looked like.

So off we went, along with my 6yr old niece, and i expected nothing.

Given that i had a few good laughs myself, a short sleep about halfway through for 10 minutes, and got to hear all of the children laughing hard at various points in the movie, my expectation was exceeded - the ludicrous price of kids cinema tickets notwithstanding.

It was probably a little too long for the 4 yr old, but he stood in the aisle and danced for about the last 15 minutes, so i can't have been bad, and he is still laughing at some of the jokes today.

It isn't the greatest kids film but, imho, certainly isn't the worst - a few funny moments for parents (probably not quite enough, but then again, its a kids film) - and for once a British live action film...... so overall, i'm glad we went - and given that it was enjoyed by kids from 4-14, which i think has got to be a rarity - it was definitely a good way to spend 2.5 hours - perhaps a slight shame it wasn't half an hour shorter......

Awful

[rcpjncw · 1/10 · 26 December 2023]

Only film bad enough to get my brother away from the tv. Luckily a neighbour asked us to look after a lost dog which brought some welcome relief from this dreadful nonsense. Probably the worst film I have ever seen, we can't figure out whether the songs or the plot were the worst part. There are actually some decent actors in this so we can't understand why they signed up for this project when a simple read of the script would have been enough to assess the lazy dialogue, rubbish storyline and unlikeable characters. Almost made my Dad wish that Christmas was over already as he says he would prefer to be back at work.

Nice but acting is poor.

[Steve-Zoicks · 2/10 · 19 December 2018]

One of the hardest things to do in film is to work with children. While the show had good spirits and was fun, the bad acting and poor choreography of the children and some of the adults made the movie more a poorly made movie rather than a great Christmas show.

I liked it but the bad acting, unrehearsed scenes took away the greatness of what could have been.

Worse than the previous two, but possible to watch and even be amused. Once.

[Juliet_Montague · 5/10 · 28 December 2019]

I have seen worse Christmas comedies. But this is considerably poorer than the two previous ones.

The humour is nowhere as good and the loss of memory is an outdone trope, not excecuted well in this film.

What was it about the completely unnecessary singing in the end? I love Catherine Tate to pieces, but she can't sing. The very idea of a flashmob contest didn't feel believable in the slightest to me.