The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Relationship Diremption (2014)

Jim Parsons: Sheldon Cooper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penny : What's wrong with geology?

  Sheldon Cooper : Let me put this in a way you'll understand Penny. You remember how you explained to me that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? Well, geology is the Kardashians of science.

• Leonard Hofstadter : [In the morning Sheldon walks in with a GEOLOGY book]  How you feeling?

  Sheldon Cooper : Not so good.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Are you going to introduce me to your friend?

  Sheldon Cooper : It's not my friend. Nothing happened.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I don't know. I heard you reading pretty loud last night.

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh dear lord. Where's Amy?

  Leonard Hofstadter : After she put you to bed, she went home.

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh. I should call her and apologize. Oh no.

  Leonard Hofstadter : What?

  Sheldon Cooper : Apparently, I called Stephen Hawking last night.

• Voicemail : Next message.

  Sheldon Cooper : It's me again. I gave up string theory. You should give up black holes and we could totally solve crimes together.

  Voicemail : Next message.

  Sheldon Cooper : You know what's great? Geology! Look at this geode! That's fun to say. Gee-ode. Gee-ode.

  Voicemail : Next message.

  Sheldon Cooper : Gee-ode. Gee-ode. I kiss girls now.

  Voicemail : Next message.

  Sheldon Cooper : Hey, guess who I am? Beep-bop-boop-bop! I'm you! Get it?

  Voicemail : Next message.

  Sheldon Cooper : Are you mad at me? Oh, no! You're mad at me! I'm so sorry! Beep-bop-boop-bop!

  Voicemail : Next message.

  Sheldon Cooper : Thiospinel sulfide. Thiospinel sulfide. That's even more fun to say than gee-ode. Hey, did you see the Lego Movie?

  Stephen Hawking : What a jackass.

• Penny : Hey, you're up early.

  Sheldon Cooper : I couldn't sleep.

  Penny : I told you those Walking Dead pillow cases were a bad idea.

• Leonard Hofstadter : What about loop quantum gravity?

  Sheldon Cooper : [High-pitched voice]  Ooh, Duchess, look at me! My quantum gravity is positively loopy!

  Penny : Who's the duchess?

  Leonard Hofstadter : One of the people that lives in his head.

• Leonard Hofstadter : [Penny is about to give Sheldon a haircut]  Are you sure you want to do this?

  Sheldon Cooper : The magazine article suggests that one of the ways to get over a breakup is a new look.

  Leonard Hofstadter : What about your old look? Well groomed ventriloquist doll.

  Penny : [moving Sheldon's arm as if he's a ventriloquist's dummy]  Oh, my God. I do look like that!

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, stop it!

  Penny : So how do you want me to cut it?

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh, how 'bout Bill Gates meets Nikola Tesla?

  Leonard Hofstadter : So, business in the front, science in the back!

• Penny : OK, I get it. Not all the jibber jabber in the middle, but I know what it's like to put your heart and soul into something and get nothing out of it.

  Sheldon Cooper : You mean your acting career.

  Penny : No.

  Sheldon Cooper : Your relationship with Leonard.

  Penny : No.

  Sheldon Cooper : Your failed attempt to go back to college.

  Penny : NO! I'm saying you and string theory sound like a relationship and I know what it's like to be in one and realize it's never going to turn out the way you want.

  Sheldon Cooper : I said Leonard. You said no.

  Penny : I'm talking about other guys.

  Sheldon Cooper : OK. Well. What do you do?

  Penny : You have to have the courage to end the relationship. You know, break it off, shake hands, walk away.

• Sheldon Cooper : But now I realize I was just a simple country boy seduced by a big city theory with variables in all the right places.

• Sheldon Cooper : I suppose I could see myself in a scientific boy band - of course I'd be the dreamy one and the smart one.

• Amy Farrah Fowler : What did you do?

  Penny : I gave him a new look. It's cute, huh?

  Amy Farrah Fowler : Yeah, it's cute: that's the problem. I don't need other girls to see him walking around like sex on a stick.

  Sheldon Cooper : She's right. I'm too hot.

• Sheldon Cooper : [knock-knock-knock]  Empty room.

  Sheldon Cooper : [knock-knock-knock]  Empty room.

  Sheldon Cooper : [knock-knock-knock]  Empty room. If somebody says, "Come in", I'm gonna freak out!

• Barry Kripke : ...there actuawwy was some big stwing theowy news today out of the Hadwon Cowwider.

  Sheldon Cooper : Really? Did they find evidence to support extra dimensions or supersymmetry?

  Barry Kripke : No, but they did find evidence that you'll bewieve

  [laughing] 

  Barry Kripke : anything.

  Sheldon Cooper : Why would you do that? You're a string theorist as well.

  Barry Kripke : Incowwect; I am a stwing pwagmatist. I say I'm going to pwove something that cannot be pwoved, I appwy for gwant money, and then I spend it on wiquor and bwoads.

• Sheldon Cooper : It suggests that I set these on fire, but the smell of burning books reminds me of church picnics in East Texas.

• Sheldon Cooper : You know, I didn't seek out string theory. It just hit me over the head one day.

  Amy Farrah Fowler : How does that happen?

  Sheldon Cooper : A bully chased me through the school library and hit me over the head with the biggest book he could find.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Have you considered studying standard model physics?

  Sheldon Cooper : You want me to give up string theory for something that's less advanced? You know, why don't you break up with Penny and start dating a brown bear?

  Penny : Like you could get a brown bear.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Hey, I've got a good job. I could buy salmon. You don't know.

• Sheldon Cooper : Penny pointed out that what I am going through is essentially a breakup. And according to Cosmopolitan magazine, one of the most effective techniques for moving on is to get rid of all reminders of the relationship.

  Howard Wolowitz : You're reading Cosmo?

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes. As it turns out, there is an article on how to get over a breakup in literally every issue.

• Sheldon Cooper : Why do we have a Geology book? Leonard, did you throw a children's party while I was in Texas?