- Chuck: Listen, wife of Mike, you got way more sway than us. Tonight when you go home, you gotta light a candle, shake off the sheets, and get your man all syncopated to the rhythm of your lady jazz.
- Mike Heck: It's not a big deal. The whole thing is stupid. I just stayed in one place for twenty years. It's like giving an award to a tree.
- Brick Heck: This is my big night, too. I've looked like Ernie and/or Bert for the last ten years. I finally look snazzy and I am showing it off.
- Chuck: Nice suit, little dude. Off the rack?
- Brick Heck: Out of the box.
- Chuck: What's the label?
- Brick Heck: I don't know.
- [checks]
- Brick Heck: Shah-nee-a Twan.
- Chuck: Shania Twain?
- Brick Heck: [reads] "The 'Man I Feel Like a Woman' collection". Oh, no, this isn't cousin Ryan's. It's cousin Allison's. I've been wearing women's clothes for the last three days.
- Chuck: It's cool, baby Mike. Man, woman. We're all just energy.
- Brick Heck: Okay. Do you know how embarrassing it is to show up at an awards ceremony wearing the same outfit as another woman? Drive.