Down Down the Deep River (2014) Poster

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10/10
Movie About a Freckly Faced Kid With an Affinity For Collard Shirts
golfers_r_me26 February 2018
Warning: Spoilers
This movie confirms what science has proven generations ago: kids with freckles have no friends. Because of the director's fastidious attention to continuity he routinely dressed up our freckle faced antihero in turtle necks, calf socks, and fitted him with a perfect bowl cut. The movie set was complete with a solar system mobile over his bed and shelves filled with books.

There's no dialogue in this movie. I mean zero. We don't even know the boys name. He's literally listed as "The Boy" in the credits. The Boy doesn't need dialogue. He's got big, brown doey eyes that convey more than words ever could about the deep river of his childhood angst.

As far as his spineless ex best friend, I hope he ends up in jail. If it's one thing I'm damn sure of is that any man that is a fan of C.H.U.D is no friend of mine. All goldilocks with his plain skin ever contributed to the relationship anyways was an old cooler and some bad drawings. Good riddance.

Honestly, tho. This is a real gem of a movie. Very well done.
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