Kung Fury (2015)
Eos Karlsson: Red Ninja
Quotes
-
Kung Fury : [narration] I'm a cop, and damn good at my job. It all began years ago, in the line of duty. Me and my partner were chasing down a mysterious kung-fu master.
[Flashback shows Kung Fury and Dragon cornering the red ninja in a back alley]
Kung Fury : You're under arrest, punk!
Dragon : Show us your hands.
[Kung Fury handcuffs the ninja]
Kung Fury : Good work, Dragon.
Dragon : He could've killed both of us with that crazy stunt. But goddammit, you the best partner I've ever had.
Kung Fury : Thanks. I learned from the best.
[Kung Fury and Dragon high-five each other]
Kung Fury : You're like a father to me.
[Dragon is suddenly sliced in half by the ninja]
Kung Fury : [narration] With one fatal blow, he hit my partner. I could tell he was dead straight off.
[an angry Kung Fury points his gun at the ninja]
Kung Fury : [narration] Before I could pull the trigger, I was hit by lightning and bitten by a cobra. I blacked out, and saw images of ancient Shaolin temples and monks mastering the art of kung-fu. There was an ancient prophecy about a new form of kung-fu so powerful, only one man can master it: The Chosen One. When I woke up, I saw the kung-fu master running towards me. I could feel my body mutate, into some sort of kung-fu freak of nature.
[Red ninja charges at Kung Fury with his sword. Kung Fury suddenly kicks him to the wall]
Red Ninja : You! You are the Chosen One!
[Kung Fury grabs the ninja]
Kung Fury : Knock knock.
Red Ninja : Who's there?
[Kung Fury hesitates to find a punch line]
Kung Fury : Knock... kles.
[Kung Fury punches the ninja and kicks him upwards before jumping up and kicking him down to a gasoline truck. He then grabs a strip of the ninja's outfit and wears it as a bandanna]
Kung Fury : [narration] As a memento, I put on a strip of cloth from the dead kung-fu master. I decided I would use my new super kung-fu powers to fight crime. So I became the best cop in the world. I became Kung Fury.
