- Walden Schmidt: 'Twas the night before Christmas when all down the beach not a creature was stirring, not even a leech. Alan was nestled, all snug in his bed, while visions of lesbians danced in his head. Brooke and Jenny were sleeping, a long winter's nap, surrounded by bottles with nary a cap. Jenny was nervous and frightened, but took a big chance. She let Brooke in her heart, as well as her pants. While Berta in her vest and I in my hattie had just baked our brains out with a big Christmas fatty. We started to doze, we hadn't a care. Happy Christmas to all. My balls have no hair.
- Walden Schmidt: [Brooke is waxing Walden's genitals while wearing a white latex glove, she rips off the wax cloth and Walden screams] Okay, oh God, how about a little head's up next time?
- Brooke: [she is applying other wax] Okay, head's up.
- [she rips it off and Walden screams]
- Brooke: Okay, so why are you here?
- Walden Schmidt: Well, um, my-my-my friend, Jenny thinks that really cool and this is kinda awkward, not really sure how to say this,
- [Broke is applying another wax strip and she rips it off and Walden screams]
- Walden Schmidt: take her out again!
- Brooke: Yeah, I don't know I mean I like to keep it casual lesbians get too attached and somebody always ends up screaming or crying.
- [she rips off another wax strip, Walden starts crying]
- Walden Schmidt: I get that, oh, uh but here's the thing, Jenny's really awesome and I think if you took a chance to get to know her that you would really like her.
- Brooke: Yeah, I don't know, turn over.
- Walden Schmidt: What?
- Brooke: All fours, butt up.
- Walden Schmidt: This reminds me of a horrible horrible prison nightmare, I once had.
- [she starts applying the wax to his buttocks]
- Brooke: You know I got to say if you are willing to go through all this for your friend, she must be all right huh? I'll give her a call. Okay, this one's gonna hurt.
- Walden Schmidt: This one?
- [she rips off the wax strip, he screams]
- Walden Schmidt: Mommy!