- Leonard Hofstadter: How did she get you to do yoga?
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, to be honest, I thought she said Yoda.
- Howard Wolowitz: You know, if you'd rather skip lunch and hang out with your boyfriend, Bert, it's totally OK.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: He's not my boyfriend.
- Raj Koothrappali: Are you sure? He's tall, pale, and awkward. That sounds like your type.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Should someone as lonely as you really be making fun of me?
- Raj Koothrappali: Yeah, grow up, Howard! God!
- Sheldon Cooper: What if there's a big breakthrough in science today and I'm not there to see it?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Do you really think there's going to be a breakthrough without you there to do it?
- Sheldon Cooper: No. I was just tricking you.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You taking Hollywood by storm?
- Penny: Actually I'm at the Cheesecake Factory.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You got your job back. That is great news. I mean I didn't want to say anything but you are making the right choice. To plunge yourself into debt right now would be literally insane.
- Penny: Yeah, I'm just returning my uniform.
- Leonard Hofstadter: And I support you.
- Penny: Why can't Leonard understand it?
- Sheldon Cooper: Because he's not like us, Penny. We're dreamers.
- Penny: Yeah, I need to start cracking the window when I leave you in the car.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm just going to go find him an- and be brutally honest.
- Raj Koothrappali: No, don't.
- Raj Koothrappali: He'll be so upset. He'll probably climb up the Empire State Building and start swatting at planes.
- Penny: Hi.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hey.
- Penny: I'm sorry I didn't text you back. I just needed some time to think.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Okay.
- Penny: Come in.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Look if you want to break up, just say it.
- Penny: Leonard.
- Leonard Hofstadter: No, no, no. I take it back. Don't say it. Just just hate me but stay with me. It worked for my parents.
- Penny: Listen. I don't want to break up with you.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, okay. Good... good. So is it cool if I cry a little?
- Penny: Yeah, I probably wouldn't.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah.
- Penny: Look you did the right thing last night. I was a mess. Just frustrated because my career's going nowhere.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I get it. And, and I want you to know that I support *whatever* you want to do.
- Penny: Great. Because I've been thinking, if I really want this acting thing to work I need to focus all my energy on it. And to do that, I should quit waitressing at The Cheesecake Factory.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Wow! Tha-that's a big step.
- Penny: I know.
- Leonard Hofstadter: So, before making any rash...
- Penny: I already quit.
- Leonard Hofstadter: And I support you.
- [Penny hugs Leonard]
- Howard Wolowitz: You want us to talk to him?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Really? You would do that?
- Raj Koothrappali: Sure. We've both been in his shoes; we'll let him down with compassion and respect.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Thank you.
- Howard Wolowitz: Let's go.
- [Raj and Howard leave the lab]
- Raj Koothrappali: So we tell him she's a lesbian.
- Howard Wolowitz: Of course we tell him she's a lesbian!
- Leonard Hofstadter: I thought we were in the kind of relationship where we make decisions together. If I'm wrong, then maybe we need to talk about the kind of relationship we're actually in.
- Penny: Yeah, well, maybe we do.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm willing to if you guys are.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Can we please have some privacy?
- Sheldon Cooper: No, I'm as much a part of this relationship as you two, and I think it's high time we put all our cards on the table. For example, where is this going? Are you two ever getting married? And if so, where will we all live? Have you thought about that?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No.
- Sheldon Cooper: Penny?
- Penny: Okay, wait. What are we doing?
- Leonard Hofstadter: For some reason, we're planning a future where we both live with a Sheldon forever.
- Penny: I know you think I'm being reckless, and you might be right, but I need to take this shot!
- Sheldon Cooper: Yeah, no kidding. Despite what it says on her resume she is no longer 22.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I swear, I am on your side.
- Penny: You keep saying you're on my side, but you don't act like it.
- Sheldon Cooper: He does that to me too. Why do we put up with it?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Listen. I could never do what you're doing, okay? I would be terrified.
- Penny: Well, it's scary for me too.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm fine with it.
- Leonard Hofstadter: My point is, just because I couldn't do it doesn't mean you shouldn't. And I'm proud of you.
- Penny: Okay. Thank you.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Did I startle you?
- Stuart Bloom: Yes. But at this point, pretty much any customer does.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: You know, I do work at a pharmaceutical company. If you can make this happen today, I can hook you up with anxiety medication, anti depressants...
- Stuart Bloom: Really? Do you have any of these?
- [Dumps full shoebox of medicine bottles onto counter]
- Sheldon Cooper: Where's my lemonade?
- Penny: I didn't get it.
- Sheldon Cooper: A fitting swan song to your career as a waitress; to forget my order one last time.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I accidentally destroyed one of Howard's comic books this morning, and I was hoping I could replace it.
- Stuart Bloom: Wow, what happened?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Batman got his ass kicked by my curling iron.
- Stuart Bloom: Don't let The Riddler know that.
- [pause]
- Stuart Bloom: It's a comic book joke.
- [pause]
- Stuart Bloom: Or maybe it's not.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: There's a few more things I want to say to you. Stuart's store is just fine and he's a much nicer person than you are and if you still have that comic I'd like to buy it right now.
- Jesse: No problem. Oh, d'you want a latte while you wait?
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: No, I don't want a latte! I want a cappuccino and a blueberry scone!
- Jesse: I only have chocolate chip.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Well, that sounds even better!
- Howard Wolowitz: Does he know you're dating Sheldon?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I guess it hasn't come up.
- Howard Wolowitz: There you go.
- Raj Koothrappali: And does Sheldon know you're dating Sheldon?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm sorry, who are you dating?
- Raj Koothrappali: Yeah, knock it off, Howard!
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Hello, Mr. Rat Brain. Not so bitey without the rest of the rat to back us up now, are we?
- Man V.O.: Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a peaceful place.
- Sheldon Cooper: All right. I'm at the Hadron Supercollider.
- Man V.O.: Now breathe in...
- [Sheldon inhales]
- Man V.O.: ... and out.
- Sheldon Cooper: Wow. Didn't see that coming.
- Man V.O.: Once again. In...
- Sheldon Cooper: [Inhales] Let me guess.
- Man V.O.: ...and out.
- Sheldon Cooper: What was I going to do, two ins in a row?
- Sheldon Cooper: I've read that there are great yogis who have such mastery over their bodies they can draw water in through their genitals.
- Penny: Yeah, well, I don't think we're going to get to do that today.
- Sheldon Cooper: Too bad. Seems like a good way to drink a milkshake without getting brain freeze.
- [first lines]
- Sheldon Cooper: It's an outrage!
- Leonard Hofstadter: I know.
- Sheldon Cooper: The university, they think they can do whatever they want; we just have to sit there and take it.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You need to let it go, Sheldon.
- Sheldon Cooper: You work tirelessly for someone and this is what you get.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh my God!
- [shouting]
- Leonard Hofstadter: They're just making you use your vacation days.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, I don't want a vacation.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Listen, I don't mean to diminish what you're going through, but I'm a little distracted right now.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, this *again*! So Penny proposed. You didn't say yes, and now you think you may have lost her love forever. How does this compare to my being forced to relax fora few days?
- Leonard Hofstadter: [shouting] It doesn't!
- Sheldon Cooper: Thank you!
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'm going to go talk to Penny.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm going to go inside, put on my coziest pajamas, curl up with a good book and wait for this nightmare to be over.
- [Leonard knocks three times on Penny's door]
- Sheldon Cooper: Penny.
- [they stare at each other]
- Sheldon Cooper: Sorry.
- [last lines]
- Bert Kibbler: Thanks for coming to the Mineral and Rock Show with me.
- Raj Koothrappali: We're sorry Amy didn't want to go.
- Howard Wolowitz: Really, really sorry.
- Bert Kibbler: Who cares? Who needs her when I have you guys!
- [yells]
- Bert Kibbler: Rock show. Rock show. Rock show.
- [yells and pounds dashboard]
- Bert Kibbler: Rock show. Rock show. Rock show. Rock Shooooooooooooow.
- Bert Kibbler: You just don't wanna go out with me because I have an off-putting personality.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: No, that's not true. My boyfriend has an off-putting personality too, like way worse than you.
- Penny: Why are you sitting in the stairwell?
- Sheldon Cooper: Leonard told me to stay.
- Penny: Oh. Well, good boy.