The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Thanksgiving Decoupling (2013)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Photos
Quotes
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Leonard Hofstadter : How am I the bad guy? She the one who married someone else. I'm the victim.
Howard Wolowitz : Sounds like Zack's the victim. You're sleeping with his wife.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Why don't you go keep my dad company?
Howard Wolowitz : He doesn't want me in there; I'm the creepy little guy who has sex with his daughter.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Don't be silly. He loves you.
Howard Wolowitz : Does he?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : He, he cares about you a lot.
Howard Wolowitz : Really?
Bernadette Rostenkowski : I do crap for you all the time. Get out there!
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : Hey. Howard says that you've been making fun of him all day. Now both of you apologize right now.
Sheldon Cooper : She's so tiny! It's funny when she's mad.
Amy Farrah Fowler : All right, mister. I think you owe Howard and Bernadette an apology.
Sheldon Cooper : Perhaps you're right. I'm sorry for my behavior. I've had alcohol and it's caused me to be inappropriate.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Okay.
Howard Wolowitz : Don't worry about it.
Amy Farrah Fowler : Thank you.
Sheldon Cooper : Ain't she great?
Amy Farrah Fowler : Sheldon.
Sheldon Cooper : Now, hows about you get us a couple of beers?
[Sheldon swats Amy on the rear; she first looks shocked, then leaves smiling]
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Mr. Rostenkowski : What's wrong with your mother?
Howard Wolowitz : Oh, her gout's acting up. Turns out an apple pie a day does not keep the doctor away.
Mrs. Wolowitz : How can one little toe hurt so bad?
Howard Wolowitz : Maybe because that little piggy is being *crushed by the barn!*
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Penny : Here.
[gives Howard a bottle]
Penny : Thank you for having us.
Howard Wolowitz : What's with you?
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, she's mad at me because she just found out she's married to Zack.
Howard Wolowitz : Really? That dumb ass you used to date? That's,
[laughs]
Howard Wolowitz : that's hysterical.
Penny : [grabs bottle back] I can't believe I felt bad for opening this in the car.
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Mrs. Wolowitz : Howard, the medicine's not working!
Howard Wolowitz : You just took it. At least let it reach your *first stomach*!
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Penny : Howard. Cow tipping. Real or not?
Howard Wolowitz : I'm gonna say not. But that's just based on me trying to turn my mother over when she snores.
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Howard Wolowitz : My mom went to Arizona. She rode one of those mules at the Grand Canyon. Long story short, they had to shoot it. 'Cause she's fat.
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Raj Koothrappali : Where does your mom keep the Crisco?
Howard Wolowitz : I don't know. Maybe in a wad under her cheeks.
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Mr. Rostenkowski : I know I'm hard on you, but you're not the worst son-in-law in the world.
Howard Wolowitz : Mike, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Mr. Rostenkowski : Well, I'm drunk.