Hot in Cleveland (TV Series)
The One with George Clooney (2014)
Jane Leeves: Joy Scroggs
Quotes
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[first lines]
Policeman : 'Kay, ladies, you see the perpetrator in this lineup?
Elka Ostrovsky : Could number four take his shirt off?
Policeman : Why?
Elka Ostrovsky : Why not? It's my tax dollars, right?
Melanie Moretti : It's number three.
Policeman : Number three step forward.
Victoria Chase : He's the one.
Melanie Moretti : Definitely.
Joy Scroggs : Dirty, rotten bastard.
Elka Ostrovsky : Fine; he can take his shirt off too.
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Melanie Moretti : I put in an application for him, and they're going to send over a home inspector next week to see if we're dog worthy. So we have *got* to be good because everybody wants him.
Victoria Chase : Well, what to we do? Who do we pay? Who does Joy sleep with?
Melanie Moretti : No, things like money and sexual favors aren't going to do the trick.
Joy Scroggs : Wow. We really aren't in L.A. any more.
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Joy Scroggs : I've lost all trust in men, so unconditional love from a neutered male is just what I need.
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[last lines]
Melanie Moretti : Guess who gave George Clooney a bath!
[enters carrying the dog]
Joy Scroggs : Oh, I'm so glad we picked a good name for him. Now we can all honestly say we've slept with George Clooney.
Melanie Moretti : Just remember he's a dog, not a person; we don't want to become those wacky, middle-aged women whose lives revolve around their pets.
Elka Ostrovsky : Then I guess you don't want to see him in this.
[holds up a doggie chef outfit]
Victoria Chase : Dear God, that's cute.
Joy Scroggs : It's adorable. Put it on him now.
Melanie Moretti : No, seriously, put it on him.
[hands George Clooney to Elka]
Melanie Moretti : now.