- Captain Jim Brass: You're both professional pole dancers: you work the stripper pole, he works the North Pole!
- Captain Jim Brass: He'll only talk to one person
- Nick Stokes: Who?
- David Hodges: Me? Last time I saw him, I scared him!
- Morgan Brody: He said he wanna to talk to, and I quote: 'The Funny Science Man'
- David Hodges: A compliment, I suppose
- Captain Jim Brass: Happy holidays!
- D.B. Russell: Not for Santa, I hear
- Captain Jim Brass: There is gonna be a lot of disappointed kids this year
- D.B. Russell: David? Got a name yet?
- David Phillips: Lucky for us, the victim was not a Secret Santa, he has got business cards, everything
- Morgan Brody: Why do you think Santa hanging out here all by his lonesome after the party?
- David Hodges: He was probably recovering from the forced celebration of a hyper commercialized holiday that lost all sense of wonder
- Morgan Brody: Wow, sounds like somebody got a lot of coal in his stocking as a kid
- David Hodges: I wish! Instead of regaling me with stories of Santa, my scientist father lectured me on the impossibilities of the whole thing
- Morgan Brody: What? He didn't think a fat man in his sled could make it around the world in one night?
- David Hodges: He also had a problem with the climate damage caused by toy factories on the North Pole
- Morgan Brody: Gosh, I hope I don't have you as my Secret Santa!
- D.B. Russell: This woman worked at Bonham Reality?
- Morgan Brody: No, actually she worked at another fine Vegas establishment: the Cathedral Strip Club. She's a featured dancer
- D.B. Russell: Miss Reindeer. Wow, that's quite an honor!
- Morgan Brody: According to her bio she beat out seven other strippers for the rack... antlers... crown
- D.B. Russell: I got it
- D.B. Russell: So the guy we though had the best motive for killing Jayson Walt is actually the guy who has the least desire to see any harm come to him!