Glee (TV Series)

Jagged Little Tapestry (2015)

Naya Rivera: Santana Lopez

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Quotes 

• Santana Lopez : Kurt, I took what you said to heart and I thought long and hard about it. And it occurred to me that you may have a point. Okay, maybe Brittany and I are too young to get married. I mean, after all, that's why it didn't work out with you and Blaine, right? Or maybe it didn't work out because you're a judgmental little gerontophile with a mouth like a cat's ass. Maybe Blaine got tired of hearing your shrill, self-aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex of the gay rights movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and cheese together or farted. Maybe Blaine didn't want to be with someone who looks like they just removed their top row of dentures every time they smile or someone who doesn't dress like an extra out of one of Andy Dick's more elaborate wet dreams. Maybe Blaine grew weary of dating a breathier, more feminine Quinn Fabray. Maybe he finally got freaked out by your strange obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes like one of those cats that can smell cancer. Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen to pass to entertain exactly no one with, say, some song that Judy Garland choked on her tongue in the middle of or some sassy old Broadway standard made famous by another dead alcoholic crone. Maybe Blaine woke up one day and said, "You know what. I don't want to marry a sexless self-centered baton twirler." Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves: the finger wag, the shoulder shimmy and the one where you pretend to twirl two invisible rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips. So, you know what, maybe that's why it didn't work out. Maybe it has nothing to do with me and Brittany. Maybe it's just that you are utterly, utterly intolerable. Maybe that has something to do with it.

• Santana Lopez : [to Brittany]  So, I figure that this is as good a place as any to ask you this question. Um, mainly because it's gonna really upset all the single guys and gals in here, but I want to mash up with you forever, Britt. I mean, some people love someone because they make them a better person, and that's not why I love you, because you've always just wanted me to be myself. You're my favorite person in the whole world and we're a big deal, you know? Like, no matter how many times we've tried to put our thing down and walk away from it, we can't because I don't want to live my life without my one true love. And I normally use a lot of words when I'm saying something negative so since this is the most positive thing I'm ever gonna do, I'm gonna keep it simple. Brittany S. Pierce, will you marry me?