- Joe Caputo: You ever see an image that sears itself into your brain? Like that movie about the hiker guy, who cuts off his own arm with a Swiss Army Knife? Yeah, the sound... the tendons... FUCK! I wish I'd never watched that part.
- [pause]
- Joe Caputo: You know what tops that for me? You know what image I can't unsee, it's still stuck in there, flickering at least once a day, making me want to lose my lunch?
- George 'Pornstache' Mendez: [busy munching loudly on snacks, answers with his mouth full] No, sir.
- Joe Caputo: Your bare ass, Mendez. Your pimply, white ass -
- [Mendez snickers, shakes his head a bit bewildered, but continues munching]
- Joe Caputo: - Bouncing up and down between the brooms and the mops, ramming into that poor girl.
- [wags his finger angrily at Mendez]
- Joe Caputo: A girl that YOU were supposed to PROTECT! And KEEP SAFE! Your ass; it haunts me.
- George 'Pornstache' Mendez: [keeps munching without a beat] Mmm. I'm sorry to hear that, sir.
- Joe Caputo: I've been doin' this kind of work 25 years. And it's guys like you that give the whole profession a bad name. If it was up to me, you'd never set foot on this property again. But, considering that the D.O.C. didn't press charges, it was your word against mine...
- [grins slowly]
- Joe Caputo: ... Until now.
- George 'Pornstache' Mendez: [mouth still half full, mumbles absent-mindedly] Well, I've been doin' my job, sir. Just gave out fifteen shots this morning.
- Joe Caputo: [evenly] You got her pregnant.
- George 'Pornstache' Mendez: [stops munching suddenly, stares] No...
- Joe Caputo: [nods] Mmm. Sadly for her, yes. That poor girl is carrying around a sadistic little mustachioed shit inside her.
- George 'Pornstache' Mendez: [to himself, in total shock] Whoa...
- Joe Caputo: [smiles broadly] Mendez - you're fuckin' fired.
- George 'Pornstache' Mendez: [gets up awkwardly, dusts his hands off on his pants] ... I understand, sir.
- Joe Caputo: [chuckles, keeps grinning, as he beats Mendez to the door] No, um... I... I don't think that you DO understand.
- [opens the door to reveal two U.S. Marshals]
- Joe Caputo: You're also under arrest.
- Arresting Federal Marshall: [handcuffs Mendez] We're in.
- George 'Pornstache' Mendez: [says nothing, but glares silently at Mendez]
- Joe Caputo: [still smiling, reaches to unclip Mendez's radio from his belt and shoulder clip] Let me get that for you.
- [Mendez is led out of his office, as Caputo silently pumps his fist victoriously]