Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV Series)

The Well (2013)

Clark Gregg: Phil Coulson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Phil Coulson : I can't think of a single time when anything alien in human hands ended well.

  Skye : Wouldn't mind getting my human hands on Thor. He's so dreamy.

  Phil Coulson : Sure, he's handsome, but...

  Melinda May : No, he's dreamy.

• Phil Coulson : He can't just disappear, he has to turn up some...

  [Sees car flip over] 

  Phil Coulson : Where. There we go.

• Phil Coulson : You know, for once it'd be nice if, for once, Thor and his people would send down the god of Cleaning Up After Yourself. They probably have a magic broom for this sort of thing.

• Skye : You guys may think it's old news, but it's new... news to everybody else. So, Asgardians are aliens from another planet that visited us thousands years ago?

  Phil Coulson : Or more.

  Skye : And because we couldn't understand aliens, we thought they were gods?

  Phil Coulson : That's where our Norse mythology comes from.

  Skye : That's too crazy. Do you think other deities are aliens, too? Vishnu for sure, right?

  Phil Coulson : You know, it'd be nice, for once, Thor and his people sent down the God of Cleaning Up After Yourself. They probably have a magic broom for this kind of thing.

• Phil Coulson : Lots of bones. Let's see what we can dig up. See what I did there?

• Phil Coulson : Do you know Thor?

  Professor Elliot Randolph : Oh, sure, spent all my days palling around with the future Prince of Asgard. No, I don't know Thor. I was a mason.

• Professor Elliot Randolph : Am I dead?

  Phil Coulson : Apparently not.

  Professor Elliot Randolph : [to Jemma]  You are easily the most beautiful thing I've seen in a thousand years.

• Grant Ward : The markings?

  Phil Coulson : Asgardian symbolism; hard to translate with our limited knowledge.

  Skye : You should give your buddy the God of Thunder a shout. He gets his power from his hammer right? What if this his "nail" to the hammer?

  Phil Coulson : I already did. Director Fury told me he's off the gird; and if he has a cellphone, we don't have the number.

• Phil Coulson : How you doing, Agent Ward?

  Grant Ward : Wishing I was shorter. Nothing yet. All my readings are normal.

  Phil Coulson : What about you, Skye? Any luck?

  Skye : I'm lucky my s.o. volunteered to take the super-creepy hallway instead of the slightly less-creepy dungeon-room place.

• Phil Coulson : Did I fall asleep?

  Karine : For a little while.

• Phil Coulson : Do you know there's a Mount Thor on Baffin Island?

  Grant Ward : I did not.

  Phil Coulson : You know what's not on Mount Thor? Anything Asgardian at all. Our agents haven't found a thing.

• Professor Elliot Randolph : It was just a chance to uncover something the gods brought down from the heavens.

  Phil Coulson : Aliens brought it. From space.

• Phil Coulson : You may not know Thor, but I do.

• Phil Coulson : Honestly, Tahiti is too good to be true.