Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV Series)

FZZT (2013)

Elizabeth Henstridge: Jemma Simmons

Photos 

Quotes 

• Leo Fitz : Here's the new Night-Night pistol.

  [Ward tries it out] 

  Grant Ward : Sorry, Fitz. It's close, but it's just not right.

  Leo Fitz : [Quietly]  'Cause agent Coulson had no problems.

  Grant Ward : It's an ounce too heavy.

  Skye : [Sitting nearby]  An ounce? Seriously?

  Grant Ward : It's the difference between success and failure. When you're on a rooftop with a 15-mile-an-hour wind, Your target is 500 yards away...

  Leo Fitz : Yeah, but we do have a rifle.

  Grant Ward : [Looks at Fitz]  Lose the ounce.

  [Leaves] 

  Leo Fitz : Yeah, okay. On it. "Lose the ounce".

  [Imitating Ward] 

  Leo Fitz : I'm Agent Grant Ward, and I can shoot the legs off a flea from 500 yards, as long as it's not windy.

  [Skye laughs] 

  Jemma Simmons : [Jemma Enters the Lab]  So, Ward was here? Let me guess the night-night pistol again?

  Leo Fitz : Yeah, and he said it was off by an ounce.

  Jemma Simmons : Of course he did.

  [Also imitating Ward] 

  Jemma Simmons : I'm Agent Grant Ward, and I could rupture your spleen with my left pinky... blindfolded!

• Phil Coulson : [Entering the lab]  What's Fitz doing out there?

  Jemma Simmons : He... detected a strange energy about the body.

  Phil Coulson : He's afraid of it, isn't he?

  Leo Fitz : [From the other room]  It's the smell!

• Phil Coulson : Any idea what could cause an effect like this?

  Jemma Simmons : [Speaking in unison with Fitz]  There's the soliton hypothesis.

  Leo Fitz : Well, okay, judging by the horizontal...

  Jemma Simmons : Perhaps nanobatteries...

  Leo Fitz : ...electrical discharge could be...

  Phil Coulson : [Interrupting]  Time. Let's try again. Any idea what could cause an effect like this?

  Jemma Simmons : Hell if I know.

  Leo Fitz : Uh, no, no clue.

• Grant Ward : So, what did you think of your first time skydiving?

  Jemma Simmons : Honestly, I'd rather not to think about it anymore.

  Grant Ward : I thought what you did was incredibly brave.

  Jemma Simmons : Ah. I suppose now's as good a time as any to tell you that I may have misled you earlier. You see, when I gave you back the night-night pistol, I lied - it's still an ounce off.

  Grant Ward : I know.

  Jemma Simmons : [Surprised]  You do?

  Grant Ward : After all,

  [Mimics her imitation of him] 

  Grant Ward : I'm agent Grant Ward. I just jumped out of a plane without a parachute on, and saved your life!

  Jemma Simmons : [Smiles]  Actually, that's not quite it. It's a bit more nasally than that.

• Leo Fitz : Do you remember the last time you brought a dead thing into the lab?

  Jemma Simmons : [sighs]  Oh, not the stupid cat again.

  Leo Fitz : The cat -

  [pointing at Coulson] 

  Leo Fitz : Tell him about the cat!

  Jemma Simmons : And it's *our* lab Fitz, not *your* lab.

  Leo Fitz : [yelling]  You left his liver next to my lunch!

• Leo Fitz : I was doing just fine tucked away in a safe, indoor, non-mobile lab at the academy! Then you had to go and drag us into this flying circus! Didn't even pass our field assessments, for God's sake!

  Jemma Simmons : Please, as if I forced you to follow me anywhere.

  Leo Fitz : You said, and I quote "Fitz, "it's the most perfect opportunity "for us to see the world. We'd be fools to pass this one up!"

  Jemma Simmons : I hate it when you use that voice. That's not even how I sound. And you were just afraid of going into the field.

  Leo Fitz : I'm not afraid...

  Jemma Simmons : And don't you dare act like these last few months haven't been the highlight of your entire pasty life!

  Leo Fitz : Pasty? Really? Well, when did you become so sun-kissed? Because I'm pretty sure that every minute of every day, You've been stuck in a lab right beside me. At the academy, at sci-ops, this plane. You've been beside me the whole damn time!

  [Starts to get emotional] 

  Leo Fitz : You have to fix this.

• Jemma Simmons : [Coulson is running on the treadmill]  Working up a good sweat there, sir?

  Phil Coulson : I don't sweat, I glisten.

• Jemma Simmons : This is the victim's brain.

  Phil Coulson : It looks like a burnt baked potato.

• Jemma Simmons : Well, you can officially tell your physical therapist that you're fit as the proverbial fiddle, especially for a man of your age.

  Phil Coulson : "A man of my age?" That's something you say to an old person.

• Jemma Simmons : Fitz, I don't know what you think you're doing, but...

  Leo Fitz : I'm doing what we always do. We're gonna fix this. Together.

• Melinda May : You figure out why the body was floating?

  Jemma Simmons : The molecular density of the victim was temporarily altered by an unknown energy source. I'm hoping to shed some light on its effects once I extract a brain-tissue sample.

  Leo Fitz : It's happening again!

  Jemma Simmons : It's science, Fitz! I have to dissect something.