Mom (TV Series)

Six Thousand Bootleg T-Shirts and a Prada Handbag (2013)

Allison Janney: Bonnie Plunkett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Regina : You know how I told you people trust me with their money?

  Bonnie : Yeah?

  Regina : They shouldn't. I embezzled from my clients.

  Christy : Why?

  Bonnie : What kind of question is that?

  Christy : What's a better question?

  Bonnie : How?

  Regina : You gotta be good with math and have a face people trust.

  Bonnie : And the dream dies.

• Christy : Hey. Sun's comin' out.

  Bonnie : Thank you Annie.

  Regina : How about that. First time I've gone the whole night without a drink in like, 16, 17 years. Oh damn. I am an alcoholic.

  Bonnie : Cheer up. There's lots of meetings in prison.

  Regina : I really don't like you.

• Bonnie : Hey, you suppose there's a reward for her capture?

  Christy : You'd really turn her in?

  Bonnie : Oh honey, if there was a big enough reward I'd turn you in.

• Christy : [following Regina in the car]  Do you think that's her?

  Bonnie : [sees Regina riding on Roscoe's bike]  Do I *think* that's *her*?

  [pulls up to her] 

  Christy : Hey Regina.

  Regina : Hey.

  Christy : Where're you heading?

  Regina : Canada, gonna start a whole new life there.

  Bonnie : You know, they can extradite you from Canada.

  Regina : Are you sure?

  Bonnie : Ooh trust me, I'm sure.

  Regina : Okay then.

  [stops, gets off bike, turns it around, hops on again] 

  Regina : Mexico.

  [rides off, they follow after her] 

  Bonnie : [cut to back at the house]  One thing's for sure, if I had that much money I damn well would've had an escape plan that didn't involve a tricycle!

• Christy : Where're you going?

  Bonnie : Home, I sleep better in my own bed.

  Christy : Really? Because I know a dozen guys who'd say differently.

• Bonnie : Let me see the purse.

  [takes out tiny bottles of booze] 

  Regina : I entertain a lot.

  Bonnie : [pulls out cigarettes, sniffs]  Marijuana?

  Regina : I entertain a lot of musicians.

  [Bonnie pulls out RX pill bottles] 

  Regina : Those are for injuries sustained while... entertaining.

  Bonnie : Okay, that takes care of the purse. Now, what's going on with your cleavage?

  Regina : I am a full figured woman!

  Bonnie : Yeah and I wanna motorboat you all night, open up.

  [Regina hands over a small vial] 

  Bonnie : Aah, cocaine! How I miss the 80s.

  Christy : What're you talking about? You were doing it 3 years ago.

  Regina : [heading to the bathroom]  Can I go now?

  Christy : You are free to urinate.

  Regina : Yeah, like there's anything else I can do in there now.

• Regina : I don't have any stories like that, the truth is I had a great childhood, wonderful parents, I went to the best schools...

  Bonnie : No wonder you were crying in the middle of an AA meeting.

• Christy : [sees Regina crying]  I thinks he's having a hard time.

  Bonnie : [looks her over]  She's wearing Louis Vutton shoes and a Prada handbag, she's fine.

• Bonnie : [laughing]  Okay here's one, one time I was on a high speed chase with the police, on the 5 Freeway, on a stolen lawn mower, in the carpool lane, topless!

  Christy : Okay, I've got one. One time I woke up and went into the kitchen to make my family breakfast, and I realized 'this isn't my house, that's not my family, and what am I doing in Vancouver?' Seriously though, Regina, what made me decide to stop drinking was the horrifying realization that I was turning into my mother.

  Bonnie : [laughs, then looks at her]  Hey!

  Christy : Aww, did I hurt your feelings?

  Bonnie : Yes!

  Christy : Oh, well you ruined my life!