- Captain Ray Holt: I know everyone's mad at Peralta for ruining their weekend.
- Jake Peralta: But?
- Captain Ray Holt: That was it. I was just demonstrating for Detective Peralta what a fact is.
- Jake Peralta: Okay, a couple of quick announcements. First, I met our night janitor Ronald. If any of you are missing hand sanitizer, he drank it.
- Amy Santiago: [on her date] Well, he's nice, and he uses proper punctuation in texts.
- Jake Peralta: Dreamboat.
- Jake Peralta: [trying on Amy Santiago's glasses] You're a blind cop! How has there not been a made-for-TV movie about your struggles?
- Gina Linetti: You think you can just bully people, but you can't. It's not okay. I'm the bully around here. Ask anyone.